Posts Tagged ‘alcoholism’

6. Co-Dependency: The Effects of Alcoholism on a Marriage

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

By Boomeryearbook.com

Co-Dependency Alanon

Co-Dependency Alanon

People who have been married a long time, especially those who are old enough to experience elderly problems, have usually fallen into a routine with their husbands or wives. It is true that the first flush of passion usually steps aside to allow a more mellow affection in later years and occasionally this comfortable friendship can lead to a certain amount of carelessness between long term spouses and partners.

The first signs of alcohol dependency in a partner can be a passing observation of your husband or wife having ‘one too many’ drinks at a social gathering and then repeating the process at every opportunity. Watch for it and take note of it…

Alcohol dependence can begin with having one or two drinks before leaving for an evening with friends, instead of waiting to have a drink in the company of others. This need for alcohol to provide the ‘buzz’ of sociability can be an early warning that all is not well. Elderly problems are certainly not the cause of alcoholism in the elderly but sometimes the symptoms of elderly problems can cloud a more serious addiction to alcohol.

Alcoholism is a cruel and invasive condition that all too often lulls the sufferer into believing he or she is not in any immediate danger of addiction. Once the addict finally understands he is the throes of an addiction, he might pursue a program of denial for some time before finally admitting he needs help to restore his ability to say no to alcohol. Elderly problems can sometimes complicate this process but with gentle encouragement from a marriage partner the elderly addict can arrive at the point of seeking help as promptly as anyone else.

While the alcoholic is in this tragic stage of denial, all of his or her relationships, including long term friendships and associations with business colleagues, are at risk of breaking down. The addict begins to display unpleasant character traits such as dishonesty – telling lies when the truth will suffice; duplicity – making excuses for being unable to attend work or attend to family commitments; the ability to set aside every consideration other than the need to find another drink.

Most successful marriages are based on trust, love and friendship. Alcoholism actively threatens the alcoholic’s ability to be trusted; to offer affection and also to be a reliable friend. Almost all of the basic requisites for a successful marriage are compromised by an alcoholic addiction. It is hardly surprising then that so many alcoholics land in the divorce courts either prior to, during or after attending a recovery program.

The human desire to survive is as finely tuned in the wife or husband of an alcoholic as it is in the alcoholic himself. A person who has been lied to and abused for years, while his or her husband or wife drank away life savings and the means to pay the household bills can hardly be blamed for wanting to leave, even if the alcoholic is well on the way to recovery.

An Alcohol has a lot to answer for, but it is also imperative that the partner seek out help and support such as an Alanon program.

The Effects of Alcoholism on a Marriage is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Putting the Bottle Second: Supporting an Alcoholic Through the Twelve Stages of Recovery

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

By Boomeryearbook.com

Co-Dependency Alanon

Co-Dependency Alanon

The unfortunate aspect of being a drunk is that the bottle comes first: always. There are no boundaries an alcoholic will not trespass in order to secure his (or her) next drink. There are no moral limits to consider and no reason that is good enough to consider doing without that next drink.

An alcoholic who is seeking help is invariably doing so because he or she has no choice and life has reached a crisis point. How that crisis is dealt with can make the difference between an alcoholic going successfully along the twelve steps to recovery and failing miserably and tragically.

Some alcoholics are elderly and also have elderly problems that complicate their recovery process. An elderly alcoholic has certain other issues to deal with, not the least of which is the illusion that they know better than everyone else due to their senior years and experience. This, of course, is complete nonsense: an elderly alcoholic with elderly problems has as much chance of recovery or failure as any other alcoholic. The plaintive excuse, “I can’t face a recovery program at my age” is one that will brook no sympathy at any self help group meeting and one which will likely be met with justifiable impatience.

Supporting a recovering alcoholic requires the patience of a saint and considerable fortitude. Elderly alcoholics with elderly problems often have more time at home in which to indulge in secret drinking, if they are so inclined, whereas younger addicts have the slight recovery advantage of being busier throughout the day. The resolve to cleanse an addiction such as alcoholism requires enormous determination and although the support of family and friends is invaluable, it is the alcoholic who must take on the obligation to change and change permanently.

When dealing with an adult addiction, it is impossible to follow a person around twenty four seven to ensure he or she does not pick up a bottle and it is rare to find a recovering alcoholic who has not ‘fallen off the wagon’ at some stage. What is important is not how many times the person falls off the wagon but that he or she immediatelyclimbs back on it again. This is when support really comes into its own and when the help and love provided by a supporter will help keep a recovering addict on the straight and narrow and ready to try again.

It is important to understand that a supporter of a recovering alcoholic needs to be just that - supportive. Not cloying; not the kind of person who finds excuses for inexcusable lapses, not a clinging leech who interferes and supervises every basic task the addict attempts, not a watchdog and not someone who is weak enough to succumb to self pity. The alcoholic, especially one old enough to have elderly problems, is practiced enough at that and a supporter needs to demonstrate a more positive outlook.

Supporters for recovering alcoholics should study the twelve recovery stages, attend an Alanon program, and discreetly monitor the alcoholic’s progress without being intrusive unless it is absolutely necessary.

Putting the Bottle Second: Supporting an Alcoholic Through the Twelve Stages of Recovery is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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4. Co-Dependency in Alcoholism - A Family Affair: How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family Structure

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

By Boomeryearbook.com

Co-Dependency Alanon

Co-Dependency Alanon

Being an alcoholic is no fun and certainly nobody denies that addiction is a form of sickness in whatever shape it presents. However, being closely associated with an alcoholic is also no bed of roses and entire families are affected by the social behavior of someone in the grip of alcohol addiction.

For a long term partner, wife or husband, there is a certain obligation felt to help the addict and support them in seeking professional help. For young children and teenagers there are often deeper issues to address, some of which are not aired for months or years as the family struggles to help control the effects of addiction.

When an alcoholic is living within a large family structure, it is reasonable to assume they take up a great deal of attention that might usually be required to help younger members of the family through difficulties caused by adolescence such as exams and teenage physical development. Teenagers already have a battle with hormones: add Grandma’s elderly problems and Dad’s alcohol addiction to the mix and you have a recipe for daily explosive family confrontations.

Extreme addiction to alcohol produces some unpleasant problems, not the least of which is financial. Alcoholism is an expensive addiction and one that requires a constant cash injection to sustain an adequate supply of liquor. Cash spent on a bottle is no longer available for the things teenagers tend to think are essential to life, such as clothes, cell phones and money for entertainment. The lack of funds can make a youngster resent the cause of ‘not being able to do stuff’.

The younger members of the family, although sympathetic to elderly problems, tend to view addiction as an indulgence. Resentment causes teenagers to feel angry, which in turn can cause them to act out or rebel and as psychological articles by Alanon explain, so the vicious circle goes on and on…

An even greater problem occurs when the addict is a mother. Mothers who have an alcohol addiction have multiple problems to overcome for a number of reasons. Women often provide the daily routine in the house, beginning with getting the children out of bed in the mornings to eat their breakfast and ending with putting them to bed at night after a supposedly nutritious supper and a warm bath. All of this breaks down when late into the morning or early afternoon, the lady of the house is sleeping off a bottle induced stupor.

The result is that other members of the family, some of whom might be trying to cope with elderly problems, must take over the household responsibilities while Mom sobers up in the corner – or not, as the case may be. Many American homes are being run by elderly grandparents because parents are either absent or drunk. The social difficulties faced by these reluctant caretakers are immense and in some cases, insurmountable.

Alcoholism A Family Affair How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family Structure is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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3. Co-Dependency in Alcoholism: The Hidden Bottle: Dealing with an Alcoholic’s Hidden Bottle

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Co-Dependency Alanon

Co-Dependency Alanon


By Boomeryearbook.com

Alcoholism has an unfortunate way of sneaking up on people. It begins with loved ones having a drink or two after work or sharing a bottle of wine with dinner. The effect is pleasing; conducive to chatty interchange and has the added benefit of loosening the tongue for those who, when sober, have a tendency to shyness.

The effects are even more pronounced if more alcohol is consumed. Suddenly the bottle of wine is no longer shared. The drink or two after work turns into a four hour drinking binge every night and work colleagues begin to avoid the person, not wishing to be associated with a heavy drinker and also perhaps finding the person’s activities distasteful as drunken behavior begins to more prominently feature.

Not everyone who enjoys a drink is an alcoholic. People in general display different reactions to alcohol and not everyone who can consume enormous amounts of alcohol will be addicted to it. However, an addict will be unable to sustain a sensible relationship with alcohol and will usually be unable, once in its grip, to turn away from alcohol without some form of formal help and support.

Elderly alcoholics might also have elderly problems. Elderly alcoholics will usually have been drinking out of control for many years but one or two exceptions may have turned to alcohol following bereavement or trauma; even the shock of unwanted retirement can sometimes push a person’s alcohol dependency to an unacceptable level. For people with elderly problems who might be on strong medication for age related diseases, alcohol can be extremely dangerous.

Simply taking away the bottle will not be a long term solution to the problem. Someone with an alcohol dependency will move heaven and earth to find a bottle if they are so inclined and addicts are notoriously clever at finding ways to secretly drink. The older a person is, the more likely they are to have perfected a system of drinking secretly and the more annoyed they are likely to be when their subterfuge is finally exposed.

Within a family unit, an elderly drinker with elderly problems might be a grandmother or grandfather accustomed to a level of respect from younger members of the family. Often the drinker is someone who has enjoyed the affection and esteem of the family for many years and only now is being revealed as an alcoholic without sufficient control of his or her drinking. This represents a problem for the family as it is important the alcoholic is faced with the reality of having an alcohol dependency that is out of control.

Taking Granpa by the hand and telling him his drinking will be covered up by the rest of his faithful clan is certainly not going to help him sort out his problems. Seek professional medical help in the first instance, followed by joining a self help support group to kick start a positive approach to drinking for those with elderly problems.

The Hidden Bottle: Dealing with an Alcoholic is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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2. Alcoholic Co-Dependence: Taking a Firm Hand with the Alcoholic in Your Life

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Co-Dependency Alanon

Co-Dependency Alanon

By Boomeryearbook.com

The problems that can manifest in the home through living with someone who is addicted to alcohol are all too well publicized. Alcoholics display the most unfortunate symptoms of their addiction and the personality changes that occur when someone is in the throes of alcohol addiction can be both destructive and heartbreaking.

Alcoholics with elderly problems might have been addicted to alcohol for many years before seeking help and some never do. An elderly alcoholic often displays an ingrained pattern of poor behavior that is just too hard for close relatives and friends to take. Dealing with elderly problems alongside alcoholism is even more of a challenge and one for which few people are adequately equipped.

The most important way forward when trying to deal with an alcoholic with elderly problems is to seek support to help tackle the worst behavior. Professional help can make an enormous impact on a recovery program and make the difference between success and failure. It is important that behavior is improved within the home, especially if there are young children involved. Poor behavior may present as normality to a young child and result in the child copying the example set.

Families are deeply influenced by the presence of an alcoholic in the home. Even younger members of the family learn to tell lies to authoritative figures early on, to cover up for the alcoholic’s inability to attend school functions, work and social events. Making a change in the alcoholic’s behavior might involve some stern reactions to invoke a response but it is always important not to lose control of your own temper. A loss of control represents further chaos.

Treatment of alcoholism might begin with the admission of the problem; popularly thought to be the hardest part of recovery but many supporters of an alcoholic’s recovery might disagree when having to deal with tempers, verbal and physical abuse and even involuntary urination and soiling. As an alcoholic’s life descends into mayhem, financial and social problems lay heavily upon all family members. If the alcoholic has elderly problems, there are even deeper issues to address, some of which will require expert help.

As an alcoholic’s physical health deteriorates, the ability to function normally is severely compromised and reaction to offered help becomes unreasonable, even violent. Where the alcoholic is in the advanced stages of alcoholism, professional medical help is imperative to recovery and it is important for supporters to be equipped with the appropriate information to allow them to effectively help. Pussy footing around a recovering alcoholic is not helpful and in fact it is often necessary to exercise some ‘tough love’ to achieve an successful result.

It is always a good idea for a supporter of an alcoholic to seek as much help and advice as possible for their own health and well being. Alcoholism affects everyone; not just the alcohol dependant. Self survival is one of the key factors to effective support of an alcoholic friend or relative.

Co-Dependency in Alcoholism: Taking a Firm Hand with the Alcoholic in Your Life is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Alcohol Recovery Stage Twelve: Spiritual Rebirth and Sharing it With Other Addicts

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Alcoholism Recovery

Alcoholism Recovery

By Boomeryearbook.com

A recovering alcoholic in stage twelve of the twelve vital steps has actively withdrawn from addiction and will have made a number of permanent changes in his or her life. Those changes will have incorporated a complete physical and mental overhaul. Attitudes will have been reviewed and adjusted in a process of painful self analysis; reparation for harm done in the past will have been made and in some cases rejected. The alcoholic, even those with elderly problems, will have gone through agonizing physical discomfort to achieve the kind of success that arriving at stage twelve entails.

The process of recovery from alcohol dependency involves utilizing an iron resolve to turn around a life scarred by alcohol and its effect on an addictive personality. The twelve stages taken as an overview are distinguished by admitting to the addiction, making amends for the harm caused to others by the addiction, being firmly resolved to make permanent changes and lastly helping other addicts to stay in recovery.

For many addicts, the key difficulty is the long term resolve required to stay sober and to refuse alcohol despite life’s temptations and the addict’s tendency to turn to alcohol in a crisis. For older addicts suffering with elderly problems, the long term solution can be even harder. Many older recovering alcoholics indulge in the self pity that features an age related condition. Some felt prior to their recovery program that in their twilight years they should be allowed one or two addictions such as smoking, or cheating at cards, or alcoholism.

The determination to stay on track with their recovery and stay resolved enough to be able to help other people with an alcohol dependency is the final and perhaps the most crucial stage of rebirth. Spiritual support is nearly always a help to a recovering alcoholic in the final stages and often an alcoholic who is deeply involved with helping others with an alcohol dependency will experience a more fulfilling final stage than one who concerns himself with his own program and withholds his support.

Older people who are involved in helping other alcoholics are often seen as a parental figure by younger addicts, although as a rule a one to one support role is generally seen as not as beneficial as group interaction. People with more serious elderly problems might also have difficulty retaining information due to forgetfulness.

The final stage of recovery from alcohol addiction is certainly not the end of the story. An addict to alcohol remains an addict for the rest of his life and invariably has a need to return to his support group to talk over issues from time to time.

The light at the end of the tunnel for a recovering alcoholic represents not only sobriety but the ability to successfully interact with others both socially and professionally. The person who emerges from stage twelve knows his (or her) limitations and knows how to help other sufferers of addiction.

Spiritual Rebirth and Sharing it With Other Addicts is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Alcohol Recovery Stage Ten: Seeking Contact with our Spirituality: Resolving to be a Better Person

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Alcoholism

Alcoholism

By Boomeryearbook.com

During the last two stages of recovery, an alcoholic is deeply involved in personal growth and the importance of complete and permanent reform. For alcoholics with elderly problems, stage ten can be an epiphany. Someone with elderly problems and also an alcoholic dependency will have probably suffered under the control of addiction for many years. The last stages of recovery offer the alcoholic a chance to resolve that the changes made are going to be unshakeable.

For those with a deep religious belief, stage ten can provide an inner peace that escaped the addict in the early stages. When a person with alcohol addiction first seeks help, the withdrawal from dependency leaves them unable to function normally and unable to appreciate the changes that have been brought about.

The early condition of alcohol withdrawal is painful, with physical discomforts that leave the addict unable to think clearly about anything other than their own will to survive the physical punishment of being deprived of alcohol. As the craving for alcohol becomes easier to control, the addict is able to consider other aspects of his or her dependency and how it may be kept in check. By stage ten, many of these issues have been conquered or at least satisfactorily addressed.

Alcoholics with elderly problems might have other matters to resolve. Some elderly addicts do not live in a conventional family home but in an assisted accommodation where their addiction might have caused all manner of difficulties. While some of these issues might have been resolved, the addict with elderly problems still requires a period of reflection in which to toughen their resolve that the changes they have made are unbreakable and permanent.

Some addicts who regularly attended a weekly religious service before their addiction overturned their faith, return to a regime of spiritual enlightenment during their recovery from alcohol dependency, becoming heavily involved with their religion again and enjoying a ‘return to grace’. They are invariably welcomed with open arms by congregation members and this in turn helps to strengthen their resolve for permanent change.

In this way, a spiritual support system is always seen as a positive aspect of recovery and is viewed by many as crucial to total reform from addiction. Many recovering alcoholics also develop a strong resolve to attend their church or other regular spiritual venue and some go on to form alcoholic support groups within their religious community.

It is paramount for any addict in the final stages of recovery to face the problems of their addiction, recognize where they went wrong and resolve to never travel the same path again. An admission to weakness need not necessarily be an admission to failure. What is more important is taking control of that weakness and rendering it powerless to regain its hold. The recovering addict’s resolve at stage ten should be a thing of iron and often a spiritual support is brought into play at this vital stage.

Alcoholic Recovery

Alcoholic Recovery

Alcohol Recovery Stage Ten: Seeking Contact with our Spirituality: Resolving to be a Better Person is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Entrusting Your Life to Spirituality Trusting that You Will Succeed

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Alcohol Recovery

Alcohol Recovery



By Boomeryearbook.com

An alcoholic who has reached stage three of the twelve recognized stages of recovery from alcohol addiction will already have conquered some scary demons. Alcoholics who are perhaps suffering from elderly problems tend to feel a little pressured by this stage and start questioning the justice of having to face their addiction along with all the other elderly problems that feature old age.

The secret to success when tackling alcoholism, especially when the addiction is complicated by elderly problems, is focus and resolve; focus on the problems at hand and refusing to be de-railed by outside influences and the resolve to trust in one’s own ability to succeed. Strength is a key factor when trying to overcome addiction of any kind and an alcohol addiction is particularly unsympathetic to the human condition as it plays games with a person’s desire to be sociable.

An elderly alcoholic might have spent a lifetime in social situations where any evening spent without consuming a large quantity of alcohol is deemed a failure. Alcohol for baby boomers has always been a traditional staple for any social occasion, whether it is a beer with the boys or a champagne reception for visiting dignitaries.

So many pitfalls are present in the life of a recovering alcoholic; it is hardly surprising that many feel threatened on social occasions that must include watching other people drink while mustering the will power not to drink anything alcoholic. Even worse; many alcoholics are ‘pressured’ into drinking alcohol by well meaning hosts and hostesses who are unaware of their problem. It is an unfair minefield of temptation and one that is trodden daily in pursuit of addiction recovery.

There is definitely a spiritual aspect to recovering from addiction and particularly alcohol addiction. Being ‘only human’, many alcoholics turn successfully to spiritual support to help them through the most difficult stages of recovery. Some might have a church network of support and others might believe only in their own spiritual strength: most medical experts will profess neutrality and sensibly advise the addict: ‘whatever helps you kick the habit’.

During the forties, fifties and sixties (the baby boomer years) alcohol was held in almost reverent esteem. A man who ‘could not hold his drink’ was thought to be weak, prissy, almost feminine. A man with an alcohol addiction might even be viewed as more masculine than someone who abstained from drink for whatever reason. Nowadays, a refusal to drink alcohol is not unusual and is sometimes seen as a healthy attitude. The pressure once put on drinkers is not as prevalent.

Baby boomers, therefore, and even boomers with elderly problems, have been subject to this kind of warped attitude and need to not only change their lifestyle but also their entire concept of drinking alcohol. Turning around the habits formed over a lifetime is no small achievement and alcoholics with elderly problems might need spiritual help to guide them through a challenging recovery process.

Entrusting Your Life to Spirituality Trusting that You Will Succeed is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Alcohol Recovery Stage Nine: Reviewing our Faults and Being Receptive to Admitting Them

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Alcoholism

Alcoholism

By Boomeryearbook.com

Alcoholism, unfortunately can maintain a vicious and tenacious grip on the inflicted person. Sometimes, people with elderly problems might turn to a recovery program only after twenty or thirty years of addiction; others make an effort to seek an earlier solution and might be in the worst stages of their alcoholism for only a couple of years before addressing the problem.

People with elderly problems that aggravate their alcoholism are more likely to be long term alcohol dependants. Over many years of addiction, it is certain that some ugly character traits will have been developed by the alcoholic. When a person is in the grasp of addiction, their natural sense of right and wrong is blunted and sometimes completely obliterated in the pursuit of the bottle. In order to make permanent changes, the recovery process is necessarily lengthy and must allow those changes to establish a new routine in a life that has been ravaged by addiction.

Through self analysis it is possible that the recovering addict will be able to view his or her life more clearly, rather like peering through a magnifying glass and seeing one’s faults in a clear and illuminating way rather than being defensive and trying to deny the faults exist; a classic attitude adopted by addicts who are unable to admit their addiction along with all their other character flaws. Addicts with elderly problems might also view their addiction as somehow more ‘forgiveable’ than anyone else’s, due to their age. This, of course, is not so and in the process of reviewing their faults the alcoholic will discover their own culpability and hold their hands up in terms of blame and their responsibility for long term rehabilitation.

Faults might be small or large. What is important is that the alcoholic has begun to recognize his or her shortcomings and is prepared to correct them during a program of reform. Owning up to shameful past behavior is part of the process of reform and one which is both painful and embarrassing. An alcoholic is by nature susceptible to self pity, so admitting to personal faults comes hard to someone who has habitually blamed everyone else for their problems. It is a habit that is hard to break and even entering stage nine, the recovering addict might still need to address deep rooted tendencies to blame others for the situation in which they find themselves.

In the process of admitting responsibility and taking their own faults on board with a healthy resolve to change, a recovering alcoholic begins to provide inspiration to other sufferers of alcohol dependency and in turn gain an insight into their own problems and their own inclination to lay the cause of their dependency at someone else’s door. As with other life problems, alcoholism and its related symptoms might sometimes be more easily recognizable in others.

Elderly problems, both physical and emotional, might make alcohol dependency recovery more protracted but need not necessarily de-rail the addict’s efforts to review their faults and admit the need for permanent change.

Alcohol Recovery Stage Nine: Reviewing our Faults and Being Receptive to Admitting Them is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Alcohol Recovery

Alcohol Recovery

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Alcohol Recovery Stage Eight: Making Amends and Knowing When to Step Back

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Alcoholism

Alcoholism



By Boomeryearbook.com

The recovering alcoholic has learned by stage eight how to apologize and to an extent, how to atone for the considerable offences caused in a variety of ways over the period before the commencement of his or her recovery program. Those with elderly problems might also have accepted that age and frailty does not excuse an alcoholic from the resolve to assess where offence has been caused and to make amends to the best of his ability.

For family and friends who have been close to the recovering alcoholic, it is possible that an enormous change for the better will have been observed and taken on board. Amends will be made on a daily basis in these cases. As the alcoholic returns to a normal life and begins to reliably attend work, those with young children will resume parental responsibility, those with elderly problems might begin a special interest or pastime which includes a level of sociability.

Amends for the damage wrought by an alcoholic who is out of control might range from making a financial compensation for damaged property to a simple apology. People with an alcohol dependency indulge in all kinds of ugly behavior. Some will lie about their work colleagues to cover their own absence, some will steal valuables from their family or rob from their grandmother’s purse to buy a bottle, as for an alcoholic in search of a drink, there are no boundaries that cannot be crossed to achieve access to alcohol. Hardly surprising then that stage eight comprises handling a great deal of humility, personal examination and contrition.

There are occasions when atonement becomes harrowing for the person who is receiving apologies from the recovering alcoholic. Someone in recovery will occasionally perceive their need to make amends as a personal crusade. If the recovering addict also has elderly problems, they might easily misjudge a situation and end up causing more offence in their effort to make up for past behavior.

This is a time when it is important for the alcoholic to ‘step back’ and allow the situation to rest. Often it is more painful to step back than to achieve closure on an incident where deep offence has been caused. Not achieving forgiveness for the past can be difficult to live with but sometimes the recovering alcoholic has no choice.

Stage eithg involves making certain assessments about any number of relationships from the past and whether they can be patched up. The process can be uncomfortable, especially for alcoholics with elderly problems, both from the point of view of being forgiven for misdoing and also when being told that forgiveness will not be possible. The emotions that must be dealt with in stage eight are usually deep guilt, remorse, resolve to change and the ability to know when a situation is not salvageable.

As the alcoholic approaches the end of stage eithg, it is important to view success in terms of how many relationships have been retrieved rather than how many have been lost.

Alcohol Recovery

Alcohol Recovery

Alcohol Recovery Stage Eight: Making Amends and Knowing When to Step Back is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup