Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Letting Go of Stress and Resentment: Chilling Out by BoomerYearbook.com

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

byb-Positive Psychology-Chart

Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

For those lucky characters that are so laid back they are almost comatose, feelings of being ‘strung out’ and ‘tensed up’ are alien and outside their ability to comprehend efficiently. They get out of bed with a smile in the mornings, determined to enjoy their day no matter what happens around them. The boiler has burst? Oh good! A great opportunity to wear the new waders you got for Christmas! The car won’t start? Fantastic! Another day off! Baby boomers who go through their entire lives with an optimistic grin on their faces annoy the heck out of the rest of us, right? There is a happy middle ground, however, where we can all inject a little sunshine into our personality to make us good company and nice to be around.

Psychological articles on Positive Psychology have taught us that stress comes in large and the more popular travel sized package that is easier to deal with. When stress builds to a point where we can no longer tolerate it, our own boiler bursts and we go through what is commonly referred to as a ‘nervous breakdown’, where emotions take over and we are no longer in control of them. Letting go of excessive stress is imperative to achieve any peace or worthwhile enjoyment in later life.

Many baby boomers and others of retirement age, have contained stress for a great part of their life. While you are busy struggling with the corporate ladder and striving to achieve to make sure nobody takes your position from you, as well as battling with all the strain of bringing up children, stress sits neatly outside our range of vision. Often, as the welcome relief of retirement looms, stress crystallizes into an all consuming emotion; almost as if the mind says, “Okay, you can let go now…!” It can be disturbing and upsetting, especially for baby boomers, at a time when they think their lives will be clear sailing from now on…

There are psychological articles that deal with the serious and disturbing effects of having a nervous collapse and provide advice for sufferers on where to seek the professional care required for such illnesses. For those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to deal with stress levels that are within the limitations of our skill set, ‘chilling out’ is what is required!

Interestingly, the gift of overcoming excessive stress levels is often in a person’s ability to ‘shake off’ negativity. The ability to say “So..!?” and “Do I look like I care” – are all seemingly negative and unsympathetic responses to a problem but in fact they are healthy and successful ways to avoid becoming over involved in a situation that might otherwise topple personal confidence; raising stress levels and making the problem, in a way – bigger.

Baby boomers have less difficulty than some other generations in adopting a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude and in some ways the trick is to care a little, rather than not at all!

The Psychological Article on Letting Go of Stress and Resentment: Chilling Out is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Post 9/11 Trauma: Speech to Rotary Club 11/01

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

Psychological Discussion of Post Traumatic Stress

by Boomeryearbook.com

Foundation for Human Enrichment: Undischarged Trauma

Foundation for Human Enrichment: Undischarged Trauma

Somatic Experiencing: Low Nervous System
Balanced Nervous System
Healthy Nervous System

Healthy Nervous System

Dr. Karen’s Speech To Rotary Club 11/01

Hi. Thanks for inviting me. I know that we’re all anxious about what happened on 9/11 and I am hoping today’s discussion will allay some of the fears by talking about the Psychological Reactions to Trauma, known as PTSD, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, that so many of us are experiencing in the wake of the disaster.

First, let me briefly explain what Post-Traumatic Stress disorder is, and why, even those of us who witnessed it on television and were not physically present at the sites, are still experiencing symptoms. PTSD is an anxiety disorder. It occurs when an overwhelming, unexpected trauma causes feelings of shock, emotional turmoil, and helplessness. Whether watching it on T.V. or experiencing it first-hand, your brain releases adrenaline, the chemical that causes the fight or flight reaction. You switch from normalcy into a heightened reactive state, of PANIC. Of fundamental importance is that most humans need to believe that life is predictable, that we are in control, and after teh horror of what we saw on 9/11, We have Lost our sense of security. We feel powerless. Our core belief that we have control over our world is shaken.

Something unexpected, and unthinkable happened and we are totally helpless to stop it. Our brains go into emotional overload: We react or obsess. We desperately want to do something. But what?

Should we give blood? Volunteer? Run out and buy Zipro packs? We worry, Where will the next attack occur, Are we safe? And many of us baby boomers are experiencing the terrifying reality that our next egg has eroded, our stock portfolio’s have plummeted, and we are frightened by the uncertainty about our financial futures.

I’m handing out the Diagnostic Criteria for PTSD for anyone who’s interested to review at home, but for now, I’d like to talk about LEARNING TO LIVE PAST 8:45 AM ON SEPT. 11. So I’d going to open this to a group discussion. A great way to get over the anxiety and sadness is by talking.

DSM-IV-TR criteria for PTSD

In 2000, the American Psychiatric Association revised the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the fourth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR). The diagnostic criteria (Criterion A-F) are specified below.
Diagnostic criteria for PTSD include a history of exposure to a traumatic event meeting two criteria and symptoms from each of three symptom clusters: intrusive recollections, avoidant/numbing symptoms, and hyper-arousal symptoms. A fifth criterion concerns duration of symptoms and a sixth assesses functioning.Criterion A: stressor
The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following have been present:
1. The person has experienced, witnessed, or been confronted with an event or events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.2. The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Note: in children, it may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior.Criterion B: intrusive recollection
The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in at least one of the following ways:

1. Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: in young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed.

2. Recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: in children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content

3. Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated). Note: in children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.

4. Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.

5. Physiologic reactivity upon exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event

Criterion C: avoidant/numbing
Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following:

1. Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma

2. Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma

3. Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma

4. Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities

5. Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others

6. Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)

7. Sense of foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)

Criterion D: hyper-arousal
Persistent symptoms of increasing arousal (not present before the trauma), indicated by at least two of the following:

1. Difficulty falling or staying asleep

2. Irritability or outbursts of anger

3. Difficulty concentrating

4. Hyper-vigilance

5. Exaggerated startle response

Criterion E: duration
Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in B, C, and D) is more than one month.

Criterion F: functional significance
The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Specify if:
Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than three months

Chronic: if duration of symptoms is three months or more

Specify if:
With or Without delay onset: Onset of symptoms at least six months after the stressor

References
American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders DSM-IV-TR ( Fourth ed.). Washington D.C.: American Psychiatric Association.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Sex with Younger People: Boomers Bridging the Gap

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Boomer Sex: Does Age Matter?

Boomer Sex: Does Age Matter?


By Boomeryearbook.com

As middle and older age creep up on us, the sexual habits that formed a good part of our early life suddenly present a problem, especially for people who have been bereaved and lost a partner who shared a sexual routine over many years. The sexual preferences that pleased a long term marriage partner might not necessarily satisfy a new sexual partner; they might even be distasteful.

The shock of discovering a younger partner without inhibitions, with a desire to be ravaged doggy style in the back yard dressed in fishnets, can be an education for a man now in the late stages of middle age, accustomed to sexual enjoyment with a wife now gone who habitually enjoyed the missionary position, with the lights strictly off and Mantovani gently serenading on the bedside locker.

Stepping through the time barrier can be scary for baby boomers. Being responsible for sexual liberation in the sixties does not necessarily mean all baby boomers are studs with a sexual repertoire to rival the Kama Sutra. Elderly bones and joints are sometimes a little less capable of dealing with sexual athletics and often gentle sex is preferred twice weekly rather than twice nightly.

Women who seek the company of younger men are often looking for a handsome escort, an active sexual partner and someone to dance with. Now and then women tire of being constantly in the company of men who are also baby boomers and want someone who is fit and strong enough to perform a little DIY around the house and some TLC in the bedroom.

Younger women who display a preference for older men might do so because older men popularly have more self control in bed than a younger partner. Young women who are particularly self motivated sexually will certainly appreciate an older man’s ability to wait for an orgasm until his partner has achieved satisfaction. Baby boomers were in fact more active sexually in their youth than any other generation and in the days before the HIV virus and AIDS awareness, multiple sexual partners were accepted as the norm.

Men who are baby boomers, now in middle age, might have more sexual experience to offer than a man now in his twenties could expect to gain over his lifetime. Some younger women find this sexual know-how intensely attractive.

The sexual habits of teenagers and people in their early twenties are now far more reserved than teenagers in the sixties; the risk of sexually transmitted diseases rules out the kind of experimental and unprotected sex enjoyed by many of the baby boomer generation. Perhaps this is the reason why so many younger women are happy with older men; the older man brings the slow hand of experience to the bedroom, while younger men are too excited to provide satisfaction to their partners and fare better with older women.

For people who are considering having a relationship with a younger partner but worry about the consequences, reservations are usually overcome by lust!

The Psychological Article on Sex With Younger People: Bridging the Gap is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Anger: Why Me? The Second Stage of Grief

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Kubler Ross Stages of Grief

Kubler Ross Stages of Grief


Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Baby boomers in the second stage of grieving can be hard to put up with. The second stage in the process can be confrontational moodiness, unreasonable demanding and downright rude behavior. The grieving process is a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish and often leaves a fall out of broken friendships as grieving baby boomers blame everyone in the world for being left without a much loved partner; from the doctors to the medication to the incompetence of the funeral director. What they are really doing is hurting so badly they cannot cope and anger can sometimes be a way of dealing with the pain.

Some second stage grieving behavior comes with an alarming propensity to cry in rivers. Although some manage to contain public tears and reserve their weeping for bedtime, others weep copiously until friends and family despair of when the crying might finally come to a stop. Some baby boomers find others’ tears embarrassing and hard to witness but in fact the crying process is healing and should not be interfered with unnecessarily, unless the person happens to be suffering from some illness which might be aggravated by constant tears.

The angry second stage of grieving can prolong for many months and sometimes people who are close to the grieving person can become so accustomed to being treated badly, the end of this uncomfortable part of the grieving process goes by unnoticed. It is quite common for grieving baby boomers to lose friends in this prickly stage of grief and people can hardly be blamed for wishing to avoid someone who criticizes and picks fault at every opportunity. If you have patience, however, the sunny and affectionate person you once knew will emerge on the other side of stage two grieving.

The second stage of grieving is deeply emotional and during the moments when the grieving person needs his (or her) friends and family the most, it is often at this stage that they must survive alone, as they might have alienated those closest to them. Angry confrontation is not a scenario most people voluntarily put up with. Baby boomers in the depths of grief might even ask the question: why me? Why couldn’t it happen to you instead? You don’t love your husband (or wife) as much as I loved mine. Why couldn’t it happen to you? It is hurtful and the next hour or the next day, an apology might reasonably be expected but it rarely comes: the person is too deeply involved in their own pain to notice anyone else’s.

 

Friends could certainly not be blamed for turning away from someone who is being so unreasonable. However, at this point it might be a good idea to ask yourself how you would behave if it was you who had suffered the loss and remind yourself that one day it will be your turn to go through the grieving process and your turn to be angry.

The Psychological Article on Anger: Why Me? The Second Stage of Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

 

 

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

 

 

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The Baby Boomers Guide to Toxic Relationships

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Baby Boomers Alert: Psychological Article on Toxic Relationships

Baby Boomers Alert: Psychological Article on Toxic Relationships

Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

Psychological articles that deal with this extremely deep and frequently explored subject tend to recommend a withdrawal from all toxic influences that touch upon our lives. Toxic behavior may be described in psychological articles as unsociable; unfriendly; negative; non-productive; non-beneficial – you get the general drift…

It would be a simple matter to cut off, as psychological articles recommend, from every single person who exhibits toxic attitudes. However, life does not work that way for those who are unfortunate enough to be saddled with toxic characteristics. To begin with, it is highly likely that many of those people are close friends or relations. Severing contact with them would be like cutting loose from the roots that hold your life together.

Psychological articles are full of exaggerated descriptions of toxic attitudes. Some of them describe having a good moan about day to day aggravations as ‘toxic’. Everyone has a gripe about the things that upset them or even just the things that are a pesky part of humdrum routine. Pointing out these things surely does not qualify a person to be ‘toxic’. Yet according to many psychological articles on the subject of toxicity and toxic people; it does! What then? Does one keep quiet about the injustices of life, worried that to speak about them might label one as ‘toxic?’

Toxic relationships are a two way street. Everyone knows the kind of people described in psychological articles as ‘toxic’ or being ‘prone to toxicity’. They are the harbingers of bad news; usually the bearers of bad fortune; the voices of doom, gloom and despondency; the permanent holders of the cup that is half empty instead of half full. But toxic people speak to non toxic people – they cannot have a conversation by themselves!

They are also part of life and part of the rich combinations that comprise the diversities of the human race. Psychological articles correctly point out that these people moan and groan and find fault with everything and everyone they come into contact with but what would we do without them? By comparison we are cheerful and sunny and enjoy life to the full but that is exactly the point: it is that comparison that throws an optimistic approach into pleasant relief and provides us with the comforting thought; “Thank heavens I am not THAT miserable!”

Toxic relationships exist for all of us, whether we like it or not. We necessarily must socialize with toxic people every day at home and at work but we need not necessarily emulate them or buy into their outlook. We can detach ourselves and watch such behavior from a safe distance without cutting off our noses along with our toxic friends and relations. Take a ringside seat instead and view toxic people as a friendly spectator…

Psychological Article: Toxic Relationships

Psychological Article: Toxic Relationships

The Psychological Article on Toxic Relationships is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Young at Heart but Frail in Spirit

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

Elderly Problems: Young at Heart-Frail in Spirit

Elderly Problems: Young at Heart-Frail in Spirit


By Boomeryearbook.com

Elderly people experiencing the difficulties brought on by elderly problems late in life are often young at heart but unable to see the bright side of a situation when faced with the physical limitations that are an unavoidable part of getting old. Elderly problems come in a number of packages, none of which are particularly exciting but these problems need not be insurmountable.

Many people of advanced age are dependant on more able bodied specimens for survival, which sometimes causes feelings of low self esteem. Nobody likes to depend on others in their day to day routine and having to rely on the services of other people can sometimes push elderly problems to a more serious level.

Most people who require help due to elderly problems need only a little assistance with things like shopping and driving or clinic visits. In cases such as these, the brief companionship provided as a sideline to the assistance afforded is often welcome and even looked forward to. However, for those suffering with more serious elderly problems that require a more invasive form of help, frailty can be a worrying and debilitating condition.

A large number of the elderly who fall into this group already live in environments where such help is extended on a professional basis. Extreme elderly problems are managed by trained personnel in professional environments and frequent assessments are made to ensure that management is fully appraised in the latest techniques to deal with frailty and the breakdown of the ageing mind.

In a home situation, however, elderly problems of this kind are sometimes hard to handle. Personal involvement can interfere with the ability to take the proper steps to ensure a family member achieves the right level of assistance.

The temptation to spoil and over-cuddle someone you love and feel compassion for is irresistible in a case where a home care arrangement has been chosen over professional intervention. Elderly problems do not always require 24/7 nursing: sometimes, the frail spirit requires a little encouragement to sustain alacrity. A sociable environment can work wonders on an ageing mind and make life worth living for those confined to a world of limited social interaction.

The young at heart will usually find a way to conquer elderly problems, even in a closed and insular environment. Many elderly people are forced into solitude within a family unit because younger family members are out working or at school or doing what human beings do when living a life. If your Grandmother or Grandfather is young at heart but frail in spirit and body, try to invest some energy in shortening the lonely hours: it will be your turn one day.

The Psychological Article on Young at Heart but Frail in Spirit is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of coaching suggestions on how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Exercise for Baby Boomers

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

Exercise for baby boomers to alleviate elderly problems

Exercise for baby boomers to alleviate elderly problems


Psychological Article on Alleviating Elderly Problems

By Boomeryearbook.com

Ok, so you are an aging baby boomer. Well then, it is exceedingly important to stay fit and healthy; and there’s no need to worry as it’s easy for us baby boomers to look and feel our absolute best. One great way to alleviate the elderly problem of lack of exercise is through the dozens of readily available fitness services. After reviewing psychological articles on the subject, the consensus appears to be that over the age of 50, aging boomers and seniors should concentrate fitness activities on exercises that improve balance, coordination, posture, movement, and flexibility. And the consensus of experts seem to agree that one of the safest ways for aging boomers and seniors to stay fit is through deep water workouts that can help alleviate the elderly problems of being out of shape without stressing joints.

Psychological articles say that many baby boomers prefer low-impact forms of exercises which do not involve high levels of exertion and provide beneficial results without negative effects. Foremost among such activities is walking and swimming or water aerobics. Adhering to an exercise routine is of the utmost importance in both elderly problemsof disease prevention and recovery. Aging boomers and seniors can easily have their lives restricted and marred by back pain, arthritis, poor circulation, heart ailments, diabetes, and orthopedic conditions; hence water exercises are a great solution as they benefit the body without harming joints. Keeping fit and agile can also ensure a speedy recovery from elderly problems of injuries, accidents, and surgeries.

Psychological articles reveal that group activities and sports such as bowling, volleyball, and golf have added benefits in decreasing elderly problems as they provide both physical activity as well as socialization outlets. Another baby boomer favorite that is great for keeping fit are cardiovascular workouts which help burn fat and keep the heart strong and healthy. Maintaining a healthy weight through cardiovascular workouts will help decrease manyelderly problems by lowering cholesterol and cleaning the body of unhealthy arterial plaque.

Strength training is another baby boomer and senior fitness must, as it builds muscle mass and improves bones, thus reducing the elderly problems of osteoporosis. Here are a few exercise tips from which baby boomers and seniors can benefit:

1. First, always remember to seek the advice of your health care practitioner before beginning any exercise program.
2. Always warm up and stretch before working out as cold muscles can be easily injured causing other elderly problems.
3. Keep a regular exercise time, and don’t overdo it. Remember that baby boomers and seniors can benefit from simple routines such as walking a dog, working in the garden, or parking the car far from the supermarket and walking to the store.
4. Purchase good exercise equipment, and before embarking on a new sport, take a lesson. Proper training or lessons prevent the chances of injuries, stress fractures and other potential elderly problems. This includes replacing worn out treads, sneakers or other old equipment.
5. Aging and elderly problems reduce agility and flexibility. Therefore it is best to modify physical activity to accommodate the specific needs of your body.
6. Always graduallyincrease the level of your physical activity. A good rule of thumb is to increase intensity approximately 10% per week to prevent injuries and other elderly problems., and add new exercises carefully.
7. Have a balanced fitness program with multiple exercises meeting the needs of your body.

Physical fitness is essential to prevent and fight against elderly problems, therefore investing in an effective fitness program can provide great benefits for baby boomers and booming seniors.

Boomer Yearbook is Informational Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Co-Dependency: A Relationship Addiction Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Psychological articles show that normal relationships have a balanced level of healthy dependence but ‘relationship addiction’ connotes unhealthy dependency which can have a bad influence on both parties. Such relationships can cause serious problems among people and require effective co-dependency counseling.

Defining Co-dependency

When two people in a relationship become inextricable and extremely dependent on each other then you are witnessing co-dependency. Drugs, behavior problems and destructive habits of one person can influence the other person in a relationship to a great extent so that they start controlling each other. Psychological articles describe this co-dependency in terms of obsessive-compulsive behavior; as the co-dependent participants have become so intertwined that they have lost their individual freedoms.

Psychological articles warn that co-dependence brings fear, obsession and distrust. The victims of this disorder are helpless as they feel the compulsion to look after the other person in the relationship. Co-dependents display total dependence on the other person which if combined with a need for approval might goes as far as to take them towards insanity or irrational behavior. Co-dependents sacrifice their own lives, tastes, likes, and preferences to those of their partner, and will go to any length to preserve the relationship. Psychological articles inform us that the co-dependent’s fear of rejection and loss perpetuates the unhealthy relationship and sabotages belief systems as the co-dependent is so fearful of being alone, the dependent relationship tricks him/her into believing they are happy in the dysfunctional situation.

Remedies for Co-dependency

Oftentimes, psychological articles state that people in need of treatment for co-dependency or relationship-addiction also show co-committent problems such as eating disorders or drug addiction. Co-dependency resembles alcoholism and drug addiction in many ways. It has obsessive compulsive tendencies and generates uncontrollable behavior that can lead to disastrous consequences. But there are also great treatments available and co-dependents can resolve these destructive issues in “codependent programs of recovery’ which are comprised of teaching self importance, self reliance, and independent decision making.

Co-dependency treatment oftentimes becomes recognized and undertaken when the dependent partner is treated for alcohol, substance, or other addictive behavior. Yet, psychological articles alert us to the possibility that an addictive personality can be hard to cure and to be on the lookout that the person doesn’t cease one destructive behavior, such as alcoholism, only to find refuge in a dependent relationship. For instance, many psychological articles alert us to the fact that some people may seek refuge in co-dependency when they feel their other addiction is too over powering to be controlled. strongly argue that if a co-dependent want to recover, he/she will have to be separated from the person they are dependent on because they feel compelled in their addiction. Yet often the problem is rooted in the co-dependent and not in the other “dependent” person. Ultimately it can and should be done, but is not often easy to separate the dysfunctional dependent partners and allow them to grow to individual autonomous people.

Psychological articles reveal that what needs to change is the behavior- as the compulsive behavior is the real addiction. Once the co-dependent is empowered to control his destructive actions, other issues can be resolved through therapy and co-dependency counseling.

There are many effective co-dependent therapies such as individual or group treatment options. Psychological articles reveal that a particularly effective recovery program is based on the Twelve Steps; including daily meetings for the co-dependent and working with an experienced sponsor. For rapid recovery, psychological articles state that is it crucial to teach the co-dependent self-love, self-reliance, and self-respect. Healthy eating, exercise and adopting a healthy lifestyle will also facilitate recovery. Co-dependency might also cause a dependent to give up their life for the other, therefore, treatment and a better lifestyle is needed to help co-dependents control the addiction and become a healthy person autonomous individual.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of coaching articles and suggestions on how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Co-dependent Parents Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems By Boomeryearbook.com

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

The vast majority of parents love taking care of their children, and appropriately, most of these parents are equally willing to retire from parental authority once their child has grown into adulthood. However, psychological articles show that co-dependent parents are not part of the vast majority of parents willing to relinquish control. Instead, co-dependent parents find it terribly hard to let go of parenting responsibilities and authoritarian power and continue treating their adult child as “their little baby”. Co-dependent parents of adult children thus relish having their child dependent on them for solutions to problems as well as life choices.

Co-dependent parents show extreme care and love, to such a high degree, that it becomes intrusive, demeaning and makes their child uncomfortable and insecure. Furthermore, psychological articles reveal that it is harmful for both the child and the parent. A co-dependent parent might consciously want to be helpful, but the hovering, controlling behavior makes the adult child self-doubting and nervous and discourages the adult child’s independent thoughts and activities. In extreme cases of co-dependent parents, the caretaker diminishes and debilitates the child’s self-esteem to onerous levels and the adult child remains totally dependent on the parent; while internally feeling resentful and angered.

Psychological articles argue that such excessive attention towards children is unnatural and can cause serious damage to the personality of a child. It is capable of bringing pain to the parent as well. By not enabling a child to solve his problems and making him depend on them, the parents are hurting their child. They can make him an emotional cripple who will be unable to be self sufficient and adequately navigate the adult role of problem solving and decision making. A co-dependent parent robs the child of the ability to see relationships clearly and to recognize the responsibility of his/her actions.

The co-dependent parent often lies and makes excuses for her child which results in maladaptive ways. Such parents think they can maintain control and build healthy relationships by fostering dependency, but this is never the case. The children of co-dependent parents, reveal psychological articles, are encouraged to comply with the decisions of the parents even if they disagree. The adult child feels incapable of challenging the parents who lead to irrational thinking and self doubt which can cause social withdrawal and future poor decision making strategies.

Psychological articles warn that a situation involving co-dependent parents is a delicate one. A co-dependent parent might believe they know what is best for their child without realizing that the child is being robbed of the right to choose and for chances of learning to make adult decisions. Psychological articles further state that co-dependent single mothers have even greater problems in understanding the independent adult life of their child. In particular, a lonely single mother might find it difficult to accept their child’s leaving home, and thus they feel a loss of identification with a primary role and way of establishing their own self esteem.

Psychological articles stress that co-dependent parents must realize that it is natural for a child to grow up and make autonomous decisions. The adult child must have some freedom to live independently and choose according to what “internally” feels right. Psychological articles tell us that parents can control co-dependency by getting support or professional help and learn to stop worrying and controlling their child’s life. Additionally, psychological articles reveal that it is imperative that co-dependent parents stop trying to plan their adult child’s every move and rather allow the child to find his own path in life.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of suggestions on coaching and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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The Misery of Co-dependency

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Here are some questions on co-dependency would like you to ask yourself. Do you find it difficult to let go of a relationship? Are you painstakingly loyal and afraid it will hurt the others or anyone for whom you care deeply? Are your children or others you love in danger because you are complicating your relationships? Are you rejecting all solutions offered by trustworthy friends? Do you have secret feelings of shame about your behavior or feelings of “caring” for another? Do you believe you have the ability to totally change another’s behavior and habits? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are a co-dependent!

According to psychological articles co-dependents depend on the behavior of their loved one in order to substitute for their personal lack of a sense of self. Oftentimes they have never learned and/or have learned but become oblivious to their own values and needs while heroically trying to mend the ways of the addict (dependent). Fortunately, do provide hope as co-dependency is a common and treatable problem. If you are a co-dependent, you are not alone and there is help.., but you must be willing to commit to yourself and not escape by trying to combat your loved ones problems while ignoring your own. For instance, psychological articles tell us that there are many instances of children, spouses, friends and lovers who have tried to make someone stop drinking or give up drugs. In some of these attempts the co-dependent may have so identified with the “addicted dependent” loved one that the co-dependent may have attempted to drink or do drugs with them to prevent overly excessive use. This “policing” and “over-identification” does not work and can have disastrous consequences in that the co-dependent person, already vulnerability to dependency, can become a drug abuser themselves, simply shifting the object of dependence from the person to the person’s substance. Psychological articles inform us that co-dependents convince themselves that they can change the other person but more often, without help, they wind up losing themselves.

If you are thinking that co-dependency is an addiction to a person, Yes!, you are right. Psychological articles tell us this is exactly what is going on, and this “person” addiction compels the co-dependent to want to adjust the dependents wrongs, and fix the other person; a psychologically impossibility. As stated in other Boomer Yearbook psychological articles, co-dependence usually results from a dysfunctional childhood family of origin, such as an alcoholic or abusive environment. If these circumstances fit your upbringing it will not guarantee that you will become co-dependent, but it behooves you to check out the signs, see if you fit the profile, and if you do, get help, as psychological articles state you can be susceptible to relationship addiction or co-dependency issues.

Co-dependency fills the person with an obsession to protect the other “dependent” person from harm and to decide for him/him because the co-dependent feels they can make a better decision than the dependent loved one. However, what the co-dependent is really trying to do is gain some control of their own life by trying to control others. This control can even extend to adult children, in that co-dependent parents, (sometimes called “hovering or helicopter parents”) can still feel their children are incapable of handling independent lives as mature adults, and will intrude and give unasked for advice, judgments, and opinions.

Additionally, the co-dependent has lost their freedom of choice as they are no longer an autonomous person but are living in the shadow of your partner. Psychological articles reveal that the co-dependents life totally revolves around the needs and occurrences of the person to whom they are addicted of co-dependent upon, and are content with the submissive role as it is a defense, an escape from the lack of self-fulfillment and personal responsibility. Compulsive urges control the co-dependents behavior and oftentimes leaves the person feeling helpless, and terrified of losing or damaging the relationship.

Psychological articles bring hope stating that all these miseries brought by co-dependency can be treated and resolved. In some cases there are group supports and recovering co-dependents can provide help, and there are many therapists specifically trained to aid the recovery of co-dependent issues. Psychological articles state that the therapeutic goal is to give the co-dependent a sense of self, improve self esteem and learn to think and act like an independent adult.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of suggestions on how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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