Archive for the ‘Elderly Problems’ Category

Baby Boomers Guide to Dealing with Getting Fired

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

When Boomer Gets Fired

When Boomer Gets Fired

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

The shock and distress of being fired can effectively cut your legs from under you. Early in your career when you are in the process of working a Saturday job to help pay for tuition or doing a casual few hours to earn some pocket change, getting fired for some small misconduct can almost seem a joke: getting fired as a middle aged baby boomer however, can be traumatic, upsetting and stressful.

For baby boomers who have already enjoyed a successful career and are now on their second job choice and learning a new skill, getting fired can be half expected, especially if the skills required are stubbornly proving too technical for baby boomer hands.

For those who are still in their chosen career and are fired to make way for more skilled juniors, the process is demeaning and can have a huge impact on personal confidence and the person’s desire to try another job.

Modern executives can sometimes display an unfortunate lack of diplomacy when it comes to terminating the employment of a long term employee. The phrase ‘hand in your keys at the desk’ haunts some people and with some justification in an economy where even the most competent personnel are moved out to make way for younger, cheaper, better skilled staff.

For many baby boomers with years of experience, the prospect of seeking work in the profession for which they are qualified turns sour and instead they become determined to seek employment at the opposite end of the scale, in a job that requires absolutely no initiative or skill other than to show up. This can be an indication of just how deeply affected the person has been by his or her termination of work.

When a person is fired, the effects can be both emotional and financial. However, there is no profit in sitting at home feeling gloomy because some over qualified executive young enough to be your grandson has declared you unfit for service. Get out and buy a newspaper and check the ‘Wanted’ ads before breakfast each morning. Use the time positively to get some exercise and assume you will be getting another job soon. Apply for everything that is within your range of qualifications and do not be deterred by the competition.

America is lucky enough to be one of the few countries in the World where opportunity is available to everyone. Taking the attitude of being defeated before you even begin is alien in a place where almost anything is possible if you want it enough. Use the free time you have to maximum advantage and visit the gym a couple of times each week instead of only once. Get fit and well enough to take on the World and perhaps you will get a better job than the one you lost.

Remember that if money is not short, it might be a good idea to brush up your skills before seeking more work. New qualifications are always viewed positively by prospective employers.

The Psychological Article on Dealing with Getting Fired is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomer Guide to Positive Psychology and Finding Happiness

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Positive Psychology

Positive Psychology


Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

As baby boomers enter middle and older age, they are often struck by the sudden realization that they have not done all the things they wanted to do before it’s too late. This realization of mortality can be a bit of a blow to someone who failed to fly the Atlantic single handed or climb the World’s tallest mountain and although it is true that some of the expectations of success are unrealistic, it does not lessen the disappointment of knowing your capabilities are now too limited to even try.

The solution to finding contentment in later life often lies in being satisfied with one’s lot – often termed as ‘counting one’s blessings’. This positive attitude to life might be somewhat old fashioned but it certainly works better than constantly questioning life’s injustices and being permanently disillusioned and bitter. Baby boomers are traditionally opposed to defeatism but sometimes the weariness of years can result in an uncharacteristic negativity.

Psychological articles inform us that Positive psychology is something to be striven for in all areas of life. Looking on the brighter side of any situation can make the difference to being a happy human being with a portfolio of positive experiences, or being a grumpy and disillusioned wet blanket with nothing good to say about anyone or anything. Nobody would actively choose to be a negative thinker, yet so few take the initiative to learn how to be happy and content. As baby boomers approach older age, there is little time left for making life changes but this is one worth exploring no matter how old you are.

Positive psychology is one that embraces interaction between friends and sociability in all its forms. Baby boomers who insist on leading a solitary and isolated existence because they feel they have been dealt a bad hand in life rarely get the most out of their retirement and their friendships. A little enthusiasm is sometimes hard to muster, especially on those days when your arthritis is painful or you have just received a hugel utilities bill or you have dented your car. The point is, though, the alternative is wallowing in misery and making matters even worse in isolation.

For people who feel they have slipped into a habit of negative thinking, positive psychology could embrace putting bad things behind them and making a positive decision to set new goals and achieve them by determinedly following a positive path.

Routine can play a positive part in a new regime of happiness or it can de-rail efforts to make changes by restricting outings or resisting making new friends because they do not fall you’re your schedule. Make a positive effort to overcome difficulties and put a plan on track for a better outlook.

Positive psychology can be a therapeutic process when dealing with bereavement and loss and also help to overcome the emotional pain of divorce and separation. Putting the right healing processes in place at these times can be the answer to an early recovery from trauma.

The Psychological Article on Positive Psychology and Finding Happiness is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Life Coaching

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Life Coaching Wheel

Life Coaching Wheel

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

So few people consider using a life coach: for baby boomers with a reputation for independent pride, their attitude is sometimes: ‘I can look after my own life, thanks, I don’t need someone else’s advice for that…’ Well perhaps there is something to be said for being master of your own destiny. However, it seems a little short sighted (another problem in older age) to dismiss modern and useful ideas for the sake of being stubborn and insular.

Life coaching can turn your life around. Baby boomers at the mature side of life rather than the beginning can sometimes experience something of a crisis when work is no longer viable, the kids have left home in pursuit of their own families and careers, the partner may be gone, friends are moving away and your social life is dying with them. How depressing!

There is no need to look at life with a pessimistic attitude that declares you to be a victim of age and circumstance. The whole of life should be experienced and all of its events, both sad and happy, should be taken as a rich tapestry to be viewed and appreciated regardless. Life coaching teaches how to put traumatic events into perspective and also how to know when more professional assistance is required for emotional problems.

Much of life coaching for baby boomers entails a change of attitude to events that occur throughout middle and older age. For professional people who spend their lives in pursuit of gaining qualifications that enable them to practice, the time spent actually imparting their expertise can seem all too short before they are suddenly deemed to be too elderly for adequate use.

Early retirement can bring resentment and boredom. Hobbies and pastimes are often pursued too competitively for relaxation and the person ends up being a party pooper nobody wants to be friends with. A life coach can change all that and re-package attitudes, making the person more acceptable and nicer to know. Life’s changes can be a sudden shock, especially for those who thought their careers would extend into their booming senior years.

In retirement, life undergoes a permanent metamorphosis. Nothing is ever quite the same again. Dealing with all that alone can sometimes be too big a mountain to climb for even the most intelligent and well balanced baby boomers. The process of life coaching is a harnessing of emotional intelligence and involves redirecting energy toward a more productive set of social behavioral patterns. Life coaching can take the heat out of retirement and make the experience more enriching by putting focus on the important issues to be addressed and teaching how to leave the silly, trivial problems that complicate life to one side.

When finding a life coach, take care to ask for references and make sure you secure the services of a reputable professional. There are plenty of charlatans available online who have no actual ability to life coach but are there solely to secure deposit payments from the unsuspecting public before disappearing under a cloud. Also, never invite the person into your home until you are sure of their background and credentials.

The Psychological Article on Life Coaching for Baby Boomers is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Down Sizing and Coming to Terms with the Changes

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Baby Boomers Guide to Downsizing

Baby Boomers Guide to Downsizing

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

For people who have to down size, oftentimes the reasons for the adjustment dictate the ability to deal with the changes. For people who have been struggling to keep a large house clean and in good repair for years, the down size can be something of a relief after all the hard work, and the prospect of being able to relax in a warmer and cosier atmosphere in the evenings something to look forward to. Baby boomers do tend to move at least once in their later years as a result of children growing up and moving on.

For people whose circumstances are less pleasant and for whom moving on is the result of financial loss, the adjustments can be less than pleasant. An amount of time might be necessary to become accustomed to the reduced amount of space in the home and the availability of cash to make alterations to décor. For baby boomers who have made unwise investments or who have been the victims of failed pension funds, the down size might be the last straw in a series of unpalatable events.

When facing such circumstances, there is something to be said for making the best of things. There is no doubt that getting out of bed each day with a spring in the step and looking forward to the day can produce a lifting of spirits to the extent that mourning for lost opportunities can take second priority to enjoying life. For baby boomers who might have lost beautiful homes and elegantly landscaped gardens they have lavished love and money on for years, however, such compensations seem inadequate.

Baby Boomers Moving On

Baby Boomers Moving On

Down sizing entails a reduction in circumstances in many different ways. Not only does the beautiful home of your dreams have to go, often the contents will overcrowd a smaller home, so you also have to say goodbye to the treasures collected over many years of traveling and antique hunting. The process is not a happy one. Some people never recover from the gloomy mood that overtakes the process of down sizing.

So what to do? The answer is of course to look on the more optimistic aspect of the move and try not to dwell on the past. For a while, it is best to avoid the old neighborhood if possible and concentrate on not looking back. If this is impossible, then try to occupy yourself with other interests and find reasons not to revisit your old house. Looking back into the past is non productive at this stage and a concentration on making the new home attractive is a better use of time and emotion.

For baby boomers down sizing for economic reasons, it might be a good idea to develop hobbies that embrace other areas other than home and hearth; at least for now! Once the open wound of losing a much loved home has healed, there will be other opportunities for refurbishing your new house.

The Psychological Article on Down Sizing and Coming to Terms with the Changes is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Coping with the Pain of Being Abandoned for a Younger Partner

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Baby Boomers Guide to Being Jilted for Younger Woman

Baby Boomers Guide to Being Jilted for Younger Woman


Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

As we get older, we definitely become more vulnerable, not only physically but also emotionally. While Baby boomers can reasonably expect to spend their retirement years in the company of the husband or wife they promised to love and honor years before, it does not always work out that way, and the trauma caused by being abandoned for a younger model is often too much to bear.

The phrase ‘making a fool of yourself’ with a younger man or woman is bandied around quite frequently amongst baby boomers. It covers a multitude of sins and describes the kind of desperate behavior that an older man might indulge in with a woman young enough to be his daughter or even his granddaughter, or vice versa.

For the person who has left the relationship, there is the novelty and passion of a new relationship. On many occasions, the relationship flounders and the person ends up back on the market within weeks, sorely disillusioned, financially ruined after spending a lifetime’s savings on a silly and frivolous affair and anxious to get back to the nice, comfortable relationship that existed before his or her aberration; usually too late.

For the one left behind when a younger partner arrives on the scene, the heartbreak is unbelievably painful and usually represents the worst emotional disaster the person has ever experienced, akin to bereavement and infinitely more humiliating. In fact, if asked the question, most sufferers of this kind of treatment would choose the death of their partner quite cheerfully.

Some ‘women scorned’ resort to all kinds of bizarre and vengeful acts; such as “keying the car”, delivering their collection of vintage wine to the doorsteps of the entire neighborhood; cutting the legs off all the pants that match their business suits (no point cutting the sleeves because the pants could still be used) – one lady even auctioned her husband’s sports car for $1.50.

The reaction to shabby behavior for men and women can be vengeful or otherwise but the emotional pain suffered is the same and everyone’s reactions and ways of dealing with the pain vary. There is no doubt some satisfaction can be enjoyed in wreaking havoc in the life of someone who has hurt us but the core of the pain remains and still has to be addressed in order for a healing process to begin. Friends and family are a source of practical help in this kind of situation and leaning on those who love us can be a great comfort.

"Hell hath no furry as a woman scorned"

"Hell hath no furry as a woman scorned"

Taking the pain out of betrayal is a tall order and no matter how much a jilted baby boomer lover tries to cope with the pain of being turned aside in favor of someone younger, fitter and probably better looking, the reality will not go away. However, some baby boomers turn to professional therapy for help in these distressing moments; an infinitely more civilized approach than emptying the trash can into your ex’s Porsche.

The Psychological Article on Coping with the Pain of Being Abandoned for a Younger Partner is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Picking Up the Pieces: Putting Life Back together Again After Divorce

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Baby Boomers Guide to picking up the pieces after Divorce

Baby Boomers Guide to picking up the pieces after Divorce

Elderly Problems By Boomeryearbook.com

When it comes to divorce and separation, baby boomers are no different than anyone else, with the exception that they have to go through it when they are considerably older than a younger divorcee. It is this age which makes baby boomers more vulnerable, perhaps, than the average thirty something who just decided to throw out the husband of two years with the rest of the trash.

The young are considerably more resilient when it comes to recovering from illness, tragedy and trauma of any kind; divorce and separation are no different. Psychological articles tell us that the average recovery rate for a broken romance for a youngster of eighteen years old is not more than three months. For a thirty year old, the recovery is estimated to be around nine or ten months. For the baby boomer generation, the recovery from a broken love affair could take years! For people of fifty five and above, there might never be a successful recovery. For this reason, older lovers need to be ultra careful when choosing a partner.

Just because your partner has displayed spectacular poor taste and run off with ‘whomever’, there is no need to behave as if your life has come to an end. There are no doubt all the considerations of any break up, such as who gets custody of the dog and who gets to keep the Sterling and so on, but the most important thing to consider when going through a break up is: what do I do next?

If you feel your life has been seriously compromised by your relationship with someone who has turned out to be less than reliable, it might be a good idea to consult a therapist about issues of recovery; perhaps attend one or two help groups. For others who are just angry, there are hundreds of clubs, social and otherwise out there that specialize in taking your mind off the bad stuff. Get out there and find one!

In spite of our age, Baby boomers can and most oftentimes do, bounce back from most drama and divorce and separation are just more drama in life; stuff to be put up with until the sun comes out. Taking the attitude that you have been permanently scarred by your experiences with old ‘whatisname’ will probably result in just that. However, making a positive effort to not allow his (or her) philandering to get the better of your life will take you along a healthier path of recovery and probably facilitate a more rapid ‘moving on’ process.

Nobody would wish to diminish the importance of marriage and partnership, or even the seriousness of a long term love affair. However, such relationships cannot be allowed to color the lives of everyone involved to the extent that no moving on is possible. Nobody has died; nobody has contracted a serious disease; it will pass. And if it does not pass, then seek the help of someone who can help you make it pass!

The Psychological Article on Picking Up the Pieces: Putting Life Back together Again After an Older Divorce is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Psychology and Achieving Contentment

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Alleviating Anxiety with Cognitive Behavioral Psychology: False Expectations Appearing Real

Alleviating Anxiety with Cognitive Behavioral Psychology: False Expectations Appearing Real

Baby Boomers Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Psychology and Achieving Contentment
By Boomeryearbook.com

Cognitive Behavioral Therapeutic (CBT) modalities are documented in psychological articles to be extremely helpful in conquering any number of emotional disorders, the most common of which are phobias, anxieties and depression. While these ‘dis-eases’ can occur at any age, they are frequently an uncomfortable feature of any major life change such as divorce, bereavement, financial difficulty or loneliness experienced by baby boomers.

It is important to understand that when a person is suffering from loneliness or isolation, bereavement, or some other traumatic experience, it does not necessarily follow that they are pathologically anxious or depressed as in its severest form these disorders can be serious, life-threatening conditions. However, when more moderately presented, these conditions can be quite satisfactorily addressed through out-patient, short term, goal focussed cognitive behavioral therapy; rendering the sufferer able to resume a normal and contented life.

‘Cognitive’ describes the thought process of something; ‘behavioral’ suggests acting on the thought process. The examination and discussion of why we consider certain behavior to be an appropriate interpretation of the thoughts we have can be organized into a beneficial and rewarding program of treatment for those who believe their lives to be less than fulfilled. Baby boomers, being famous ‘doers’ and ‘thinkers’, are great supporters of cognitive behavioral psychology, and many boomers enjoy impressive CBT success.

Oftentimes cognitive behavioral therapy simply explores behavioral responses to troubling or uncomfortable life problems such as work related difficulties, divorce and separation, addiction and financial problems, elderly problems associated with phobias and fears, and many of the kinds of difficulties that baby boomers face more and more such as the loss of friends, coping with children moving away, and retirement.

Seeking cognitive behavioral therapy can provide a set of tools to tackle the pain of losing a beloved pet or losing your sexual appetite in later life. It can help you to know yourself and to know how you react to certain situations. Having that knowledge can equip you to deal with emotional problems calmly and with minimal distress to you and to the people around you. Since CBT is typically short term (12 sessions) and yet highly effective, psychological articles tout it as a cost effective, modern, and most professional way to deal with emotional drama for baby boomers.

As cognitive behavioral therapy takes effect, it can sometimes be necessary for more than one emotional event to be experienced before the person is able to ‘detach’ sufficiently and step back from what is happening to assess what is unfolding and deal with it appropriately. And of course everyone is different and reacts to therapy differently.

Applying cognitive behavioral psychology to a given problem can result in a dramatically different solution: each time the problem appears, the person is better able to contain his of her reaction and eventually, there is a remarkably calm and unperturbed approach to difficulties that would previously have sent the same person into an emotional panic.

Naturally, success rests on the client and therapist’s ability to challenge the core irrational thought processes that bring discomfort,

The Psychological Article on Cognitive Behavioral Psychology and Achieving Contentment is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Acceptance: Stage Five of Grieving and Moving On

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Should you be in the position of helping a person through the grieving process, you are going to be disappointed if you are expecting bells, flags and whistles at stage five! Baby boomers who have survived the first four stages of grief will be emotionally battered and bruised by stage five of the process and often have become a little withdrawn. Friendships might have changed forever by this part of the process and it is important to understand that the changes brought about by death should be embraced rather than reversed.

As people begin to accept what has happened and make the necessary adjustments in their lives to enable them to continue alone, without their long term partner by their side, practical help for others can be a healing tool.

Baby boomers have a lifetime of experience when it comes to emotions. Grieving is one more notch on the post and for someone who has gone through the painful process of grief, a positive outcome can be that they provide help for others in the same dark tunnel.

Stage five of the grieving process is acceptance of death, loss and the pain that necessarily accompanies the grieving process. The inevitability of death is something everyone accepts but few people understand until it is their turn to experience it. When they do, the pain of bereavement can be a thunderbolt as strong people collapse under the weight of unhappiness and pain.

Grieving can present in many guises and often a dainty little baby boomer lady who gives the impression of being frail and incompetent, loses a strong and dominant husband, then shocks everyone with her ability to organize the funeral, conduct her duties as hostess graciously and dry eyed, and put the family home up for sale; all within three weeks. People stand back and admire but all the time she is probably screaming inside and stunningly internally falling apart as she is unable to get through even the first stage of her grieving process.

Understanding the stages of grief can mean a lifeline to those who need support in the worst and darkest moments of their life. Stage five of grief allows the person to emerge into the sunshine after a long and hard process of emotional turmoil. Stage five is acceptance, not only of the death itself but also of the importance to move forward and embrace the change in circumstances.

The dead are no less loved for being laid to rest. We are all dying from the moment we are born and our footprints in other peoples’ lives cause our death to be either passed over as an uninteresting obituary in the local newspaper or an event which affects those who love us for the rest of their own lives.

For some baby boomers, their lives are cut in two by the death of someone close to them and nothing is ever quite the same again: events become related to ‘before’ and ‘after’ their partner died. For others, the five stages of mourning are completed and they are ready to move on.

The Psychological Article on Acceptance: Stage Five of Grieving and Moving On is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Mourning Depression: The Long, Dark Tunnel of Stage Four Grief

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Stage four of grieving is the worst. For the person who is suffering through the grieving process, stage four involves mourning for the person who is gone and sometimes sinking into a deep depression as the loss is faced up to and seen as something that cannot be fixed.

Baby boomers are demonstrably enthusiastic people; a generation famous for its ability to embrace change. Grieving, however, can present a challenge in this respect. Oftentimes, when people make a long term commitment to a partner, they believe it is for life and the possibility of death does not often enter into the equation. Nobody enters a marriage or long term relationship on the basis of it continuing up to the end of life and then stopping abruptly. Most baby boomers do not even think about the possibility of defeat and therefore contemplating death is a defeatist attitude.

For such people, death can represent a final failure to achieve. Long term lovers who have spent an entire lifetime together can sometimes fall apart when presented with the inevitability of the permanent separation brought by death.

As the knowledge of death sinks in, depression can be a feature of the grieving process and cause friends and family the most discomfort as they try to deal with a person who determinedly refuses to be jollied out of a dark mood.

The symptoms of depression are easy enough to recognize. For someone who has achieved success in giving up drinking or smoking, they might resume the habit to the annoyance of everyone around them. Many baby boomers are retired so are able all too easily to give up hobbies and pastimes and fall into a routine of lying in bed until late morning.

Some grieving baby boomers roam around the house all day in their pyjamas and bathrobe, watching TV and avoiding anyone who might want to cheer them out of their depression. The fact is they do not want to be cheered up; they do not want to start leading their life again: they want to be left alone!

So what do you do about someone in this stage of grieving? It depends on the person. Most psychologists will allow a period of ‘wallowing’ but if it continues for too long, the effects can be hard to reverse. There is no doubt that the depression is an intrinsic part of grieving and is a recognized stage of the process.

Some people in a depression will simply slouch about the house feeling gloomy for a while; others will physically harm themselves in the depths of depression. There is little doubt that this stage of the grieving process requires professional intervention if it continues for too long.

As the fourth and unhappy stage of grieving comes to an end, the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel is the fifth stage, which represents a healthy moving on and a clean up after death and the stages of the grieving process.

The Psychological Article on Depression: The Long, Dark Tunnel of Stage Tour Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Baby Boomers Guide to Bargaining: Going Through the Third Stage of Grief

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Kubler Ross: stages of grief

Kubler Ross: stages of grief


Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

As a grieving baby boomer emerges from anger in the second stage of the grieving process, an interesting change occurs that can puzzle and bewilder those who are not familiar with typical grieving behavioral patterns.

The third stage of the grieving process can be featured by bargaining. This bargaining might take the form of being particularly attentive at church or for some baby boomer widows, it might entail a concentrated effort at dieting or babysitting the grandchildren or spring cleaning the house. It is all part of a pointless bargaining process.

The bargaining is a subconscious marshalling of weapons: if I do this, he will come back; if I achieve that, she might not be taken from me and I will wake up after this terrible nightmare. As the process of bargaining continues unsuccessfully, friends and family sometimes experience an uplifting of spirits as they witness an improvement over the angry second stage of grieving and tell themselves that the person is recovering.

The third stage might see baby boomer determinations come into the process as bad habits are addressed and broken after years of struggle. Chain smokers will sometimes have far better success at giving up their habit in the third stage of grieving, only to sink into addiction again in the depressing fourth stage.

It is all part of: ‘If I do this, I will be rewarded and it will all go away’. Of course death is final and when the grieving person faces up to the harsh reality of loss, the fourth stage of grieving must be conquered, which is depression.

During the third stage, gentle support is invaluable. Telling the grieving person that there is no point in trying to bargain for a reprieve is of no value. They are intelligent and of course know that the death of their partner cannot be reversed. The act of bargaining is psychological and an inevitable part of the process. Trying to limit the time spent in this process is unhelpful and probably unproductive. Support is better and more valuable than discussion.

Sometimes during stage three, people actually resort to dating again. It is part of trying to replace the person who is gone and usually goes horribly wrong. The ‘other interested party’ can be deeply hurt when the grieving person turns away in frustration as he (or she) is seeking their lost love in a strange ritual of ‘find and replace…’

The grieving process can continue for a few weeks or sometimes might continue for years. As each stage is lived through, grief changes in shape and form and sometimes the personality of the person who is grieving also changes, leading to observations such as ‘So and so has never been the same since his wife died…’ and so on.

It is true that people can change after a loss, especially after the loss of a long term baby boomer partner of thirty or forty years. The grief process is different for everyone but unfortunately most of us must go through it at some time.

The Psychological Article on Bargaining: Going Through the Third Stage of Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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