Archive for November, 2009

Lack of Trust: How to Start Trusting Again

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

by BoomerYearbook.com

Lack of trust can kill any relationship. If a partner has cheated in the past or has a habit of lying then the inability to trust them is understandable. In fact in such cases the entire relationship may have to be re-evaluated. However, if one of the partners constantly doubts the other’s fidelity without having any justified reason to do so, then lack of trust is not just unfair to the other person but can also have disastrous consequences for the relationship.

If you find yourself constantly questioning your partner’s affections and motives, have a habit of cross checking their claims and statements with a third person, spy on them for no reason and have frequent arguments over your mistrusting nature, then you may be suffering from a chronic lack of trust. You are probably aware that your lack of trust has nothing to do with your partner; it’s like a bad habit, which has become a part of your personality. But the problem is that your habit probably hurts your partner more than you realize and before you know your relationship will start falling apart right in front of your eyes.

Causes of lack of trust

Your habit of mistrusting people who profess to love you could have its roots in your past. The following are some of the most common causes of this problem:

Emotional hurt—If in any of your previous relationships your partner cheated on you and you felt deeply hurt by the betrayal, it is possible that you moved on to the next relationship, without resolving your feelings. In such a case you might constantly compare your present partner with your ex and use your “lack of trust” as a defense mechanism against heartbreak.

History of betrayal- If you have been too naive and trusting in the past, it’s possible a lot of people may have taken you for a ride. This may have forced you to move to the other extreme of mistrusting anyone who tries to come close to you.

Childhood trauma- The experiences we go through as children play a huge role in shaping our personalities. If as a child you witnessed a parent’s infidelity or a bitter divorce, chances are that you will grow up into a person with a deep mistrust for people who profess to love you.

Conditioning- If a child is brought up by a single parent who was at receiving end of betrayal by his her partner; it’s possible that the parent might have unconsciously passed on generalized negative beliefs about the opposite sex to the child.

Low self esteem- A person suffering from low self-esteem might feel that they do not deserve the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They therefore have problems trusting the positive, healthy, and loving behavior of people around them and their negative self-talk forces them to look for an ulterior motive behind the most sincere actions.

How to start trusting again

If you can identify with any of these problems and want to learn to trust people again, without the constant fear of being taken advantage of, you need to let go of the past and make a fresh start. Practicing positive affirmations is one of the simplest ways to unlearn the old and learn a new way of living.

Positive Affirmations:

Your beliefs are a result of your repeated past experiences which cause conditioned patterns and perceptions. Positive affirmations involve persistently exposing yourself to new ideas, till your mind absorbs them as new internalized belief systems. The following affirmations will help you unlearn old patterns and accept new ideas about life and yourself.

Stand in front of a mirror and repeat each affirmation at least 30-40 times daily. A better idea would be to focus on one affirmation for a week and then move to the next one.

“I love and accept myself the way I am”

“I deserve to love and to be loved”

“It’s safe for me to love people and allow them to love me”

“I feel safe and trust the process of life to bring me the best, because that’s what I deserve”

“I let go of the past and welcome the future with open arms”

Practice these affirmations till they become a part of your new belief system.

When you refuse to trust people you stop life from bringing forth the possibilities of love and happiness that could be in store for you. When you live in fear of being let down, you miss the opportunity to love and feel loved. Give life a chance, after all it’s better to find love and lose it than live without knowing how beautiful love is.

Want more tips on overcoming mistrust and learning how to open yourself to the possibilities of love and happiness? Have a comment or question you’d like to share? Come join others at Boomer Yearbook for simple and effective coaching tips and strategies.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

How to quit being a compulsive shopper

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

Psychological Articles by BoomerYearbook.com

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems: Compulsive Shopping

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems: Compulsive Shopping

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems

By Boomeryearbook.com

If you have a ‘shop till you drop’ attitude then you definitely need advice, as the compulsive shopping obsession is one of the major elderly problems and might easily land you in hard to resolve long term financial troubles. Psychological articles tell us that shopping addictions are quite common in modern times as many of us struggle to fight anxiety and stress by collecting beautiful, but unnecessary, new things that once bought, might never be used.

Psychological articles tell us that the number of female victims of this elderly problem is higher than males, as women indulge in this deceptively harmless activity to fight off loneliness, dissatisfaction with present life, stress, anxiety and depression. But to put it very honestly, compulsive shopping is not the solution to any of these elderly problems as it worsens psychological states by adding to debts and expenses; especially for “out of control” habitual credit card users.

However, if compulsive shopping is one of your elderly problems, take heart, as psychological articles tell us that with motivation and determination it is quite possible to rid yourself of this elderly problem. Just like any other addiction – such as alcoholism or gambling -the obvious solutions to compulsive shopping might appear difficult to act upon initially but with proper help and resolve, they are effectively combated in the long run.

Compulsive shopping elderly problems can be prevented if you find a reasonably strong diversion, something that would effectively keep you busy enough to stop you from thinking about spending money on not-needed stuff. For instance, try indulging yourself in a hobby or connecting with a card or book group to relieve stress, loneliness, or anxiety, or sign up for an interesting class that will challenge your mind, boost self esteem, and deter you from mindlessly grazing shopping malls.

Another idea to help limit unnecessary purchases it to create a reasonable shopping list of required items to help keep you focused and prevent purchasing unneeded, less useful items. It will keep you on track without making you spend more than you should. Additionally, paying by cash or check, and not using a credit card, is an effective strategy to help reduce the compulsive shopping urge.

One very important warning to help curtail the elderly problem of compulsive shopping is to avoid watching advertisements, TV shopping channels, and discount warehouse ads as they are too tempting for excessive shoppers. Also, a great idea is to leave your wallet at home while you go out for a nice walk, thus reducing the impulse to purchase and limiting your stroll to window shopping only. Another tip to help deal with this elderly problem is to avoid shopping or visiting shopping malls while you are visiting friends, as psychological articles warn us that usually people spend more money when shopping outside their home community.

It is important for all those with the elderly problems of compulsive shopping to sort out the causes behind their compulsive shopping addiction, as knowledge is power and the first step in controlling this behavior. Moreover, one has to make a conscious decision to control shopping urges in order to find a positive solution to this problem.

If you feel that your shopping compulsion has spiraled out of control, please consult a professional therapist or counselor. Psychological articles tell us that NPL or Neuro-Linguistic Programming is an effective treatment as it tackles the problem from the grass root level, that is, the mind, and that hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis can also be very helpful in stopping the elderly problem of compulsive shopping.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Baby Boomers Update Guide to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the frightening and varied behavioral patterns that occur through obsession; the dangers of leaving an obsession untreated and the coaching solutions available: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
By Boomeryearbook.com

byb-woman-worried-red hair-dreamstime_5307243[1]

Only a few decades ago, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was unheard of. Anyone displaying the kind of symptoms we see today in a sufferer of this distressing disorder would be labeled as simply ‘weird’ or freaky’. Elderly baby boomers would not have heard of ‘OCD’ as we know it during their youth, nor would they have known anyone suffering with the symptoms, probably because someone in the grip of OCD would have been embarrassed and would have hidden symptoms.

What are the symptoms, exactly?

Psychological articles show us that OCD presents through strange rituals practiced by the sufferer to cope with feelings that they are threatened in some way. This threat might be in the form of fear that their family will abandon them; fear that their partner will leave; fear that their children love someone else more than them; irrational pessimism that they are going to come to some harm at the hands of even people they love: baby boomers suffering with OCD might have a tendency to arrange ornaments on a shelf exactly the same distance apart, or possibly “hoard” things such as refusing to throw out newspapers or collecting objects.

Other rituals might involve checking that doors and windows are locked before leaving the house, six; seven; eight; up to thirty or even forty or so times, never satisfied that they have properly locked each area of the house until someone finally ‘rescues’ them by assuring them everything is securely locked and safe. Oddly, this reassurance is usually accepted, no matter who is doing the assuring, and the sufferer seems almost relieved to be able to walk away from the task they are obsessed with, probably exhausted and happy to hand the responsibility of the locked windows and doors to another person.

OCD might also compel someone to dust or polish each area of their house six or seven times, each time with a different cloth, and in sequence. The sequence must not be interrupted – if it is, the person has to start all over again with the first cloth, then the second, and so on…

Psychological articles tell us that frequent and ritualistic hand washing and the need to count possessions are also symptoms of OCD and many sufferers spend days on end, re-washing laundry in an endless quest to re-clean and re-stack perfectly clean and neatly piled clothes and bed linen. For baby boomers with OCD, cupboards must be stacked just so; closets must have hangers facing the right direction and all hangers must be color-co-ordinated with the items in the closet. Curiously, washing must be “pegged” with color-matched plastic pegs and the washing spaced correctly…
What happens if the ritual is upset?

OCD sufferers are invariably quite happy to re-start a ritual; therefore the possibility of being interrupted is not so upsetting as one might think, although there are exceptions.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is socially embarrassing so often sufferers will keep their problem secret, enabling the condition to worsen considerably before professional help is finally sought.
The causes of OCD are suspected to be hereditary via the maternal link, or the result of a lack of Serotonin in the brain. Other theories explore the possibility of natural physical changes causing an imbalance that triggers the condition but no actual cause is definitively verified.

For baby boomers who suspect they have some or all of the symptoms of OCD, counseling should be sought to combat the symptoms or at least to reduce them. Research from psychological articles ascertains that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) might also be a solution to treating the disorder by introducing alternative ideas and thought processes. The bottom line is if you or a loved one suffer from this disorder, help is available: there is no need to suffer in silence.

byb-OCD chart

The Psychological Article on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Modern Man and His Challenge to Please Everyone by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-couple-young-dreamstime_6809960[1]

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
by Boomeryearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

byb-pregnant-silhoutte-dreamstime_6057335[1]

Baby boomers had it good in many respects. Life in the mid twentieth century was nothing if not straightforward and relatively affluent. Family life was fairly conventional and boomers’ dads went to work to earn the money to support Stay At Home Mom and the kids. In the modern environment, fragmentation has produced multiple roles for modern men and women.

Women are no longer content to read up on new recipes and allow the man to make all the major decisions that affect her and her children. Women in modern society work ambitiously within their chosen careers and sometimes achieve better success than their male colleagues. Children are valued but sometimes come second to their mother’s ambition to succeed. Her partner must therefore necessarily take on a greater responsibility at home to support her schedule. Elderly baby boomers sometimes view this arrangement as unworkable and often attempt to divert working mothers to stay at home more.

Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psychology support that men in the twenty first century are expected to achieve spectacularly in a number of areas that include being a practical, hands-on father, a supportive husband to a working mother, a source of pride to the baby boomers who are his own parents and a reliable provider.

byb-family-silhoutte-dreamstime_1974027[1]

In the forties and fifties, university entrance was considered to be highly expensive and reserved for the ultra intelligent. In our egalitarian society, almost 10% of the American population hold a Master’s Degree or higher and every citizen is deemed to deserve the opportunity to attend university: the onus is on modern parents to provide the means. Baby boomers more often than not chose to send their kids to college and university but were not as likely to be pressured into doing so. As more pressure is applied for men to comply with the criteria imposed by society, more areas within which to fail are presented. This causes greater stress levels, along with an even higher incidence of failed marriages.

Attaining a college degree does not necessarily guarantee employment, as the job market has been severely compromised by the failing economy in the past few years. Even more responsibility weighs on the shoulders of modern man as he struggles to keep his job and juggle his home life, anxious that should he lose his job, the likelihood of his finding another are slimmer than they have been for twenty years. With the cost of living at an all time high, he certainly has his hands full trying to make ends meet.

Baby boomers with an ear to the ground and a sense of perception appreciate that career and family life are not as simple as they once were and provide moral support to sons and grandsons caught within complicated and pressured modern lifestyles. Psychological articles cover the subject of modern stress triggers and cite marital problems; career pressure and financial worries among the top contenders for causing undue anxiety and distress in men today.

The Psychological Article on Modern Man and His Challenge to Please Everyone is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

byb-Jan-MansWorld-480x320

Juggling Roles: Modern Man’s Keeping a Career and Being There for Family by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-career vs. family- scale-dreamstime_9162188[1]

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
by Boomeryearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

The older generation of male baby boomers were hard working, responsible fathers and figures who drew respect from their families, especially their sons. As these sons lived in a modern environment, their values and expectations changed to embrace unorthodox, sometimes fragmented family structures that might include step children and second or even third wives.

Baby boomers representing the elderly part of the community enjoyed a relatively straightforward structure within the family unit. In a family where the mother and father have been together since their twenties, there is a level of financial security achieved in later life; whereas there might be financial hardship caused by multiple alimony payments and child support obligations for modern men with a series of broken relationships behind them.

Escalating costs make it imperative that men earn more in order to pay more. The problem is pandemic in that children are produced from one relationship, which breaks up: more children are produced within subsequent partnerships as the man might move on to link up with a childless woman who expresses a need to have a baby and so on…Men in general have become somewhat prolific when it comes to producing multiple families and the price is financial insecurity.

byb-Jan-MansWorld-480x320

A career is all important to a man with heavy responsibilities both old and new. As men feel pressured to perform at work, their home life might suffer considerable neglect. Men often spend a great deal of time racing from one obligation to another at breakneck speed to satisfy needs in all areas of their lives. Eventually, stress can take hold and psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psychology clearly outline how the pressures of being professionally and personally successful can lead to feelings of failure; guilt at not achieving; depression and emotional illness.

Men will sometimes experience a totally different lifestyle with different partners. A man might enjoy a traditional relationship with his first wife who is a Stay At Home Mother; happy to give up her career to raise the children, similar to the baby boomers’ marriage his own parents had. Should the marriage break up and the man takes a second wife, he could easily find his second experience quite different and be expected to take an equal role with home responsibilities. So here he finds a conflict of roles, as he still has contact with his first family and must somehow make his two roles compatible. Baby boomers look on as interested spectators in such situations.

Psychological articles note that a man will often feel obliged to have the children of his multiple relationships exist in a friendly, parallel environment: their acceptance of their respective home situations helps their father to feel less guilty and less threatened by feelings of having ‘abandoned’ his children. In fact, children faced with younger half brothers and sisters quite often readily accept their new status but encounter conflicting loyalties as a result of their mother’s resentment of the step children, even going so far as to ‘hide’ their affections for their father’s other children from their mother.

The Psychological Article on Juggling Roles: Keeping a Career and Being There for Family is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Role Reversal: Modern Stay at Home Man: Answering to Boomer Grandpa by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-mr.mom-dreamstime_8150822[1]

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
by Boomeryearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations and Positive Psychology highlight how the modern family structure is ever changing and can include some fractional elements. In an environment of equal opportunity, many women have the qualifications and capabilities to earn far more than their husbands. A man who might pull a very respectable eighty thousand dollars per annum might be out-performed by his professional wife earning in excess of one hundred thousand.

In situations such as these, Stay At Home Dad emerges, to the horror of his parents; baby boomers and possibly family traditionalists. In an age where men have learned to be as capable as their wives when it comes to child care and home-based tasks, in fact more so as men traditionally have better DIY skills, women are being allowed an opportunity to take the reins and be the bread winner on a permanent basis.

It makes sense that the higher salary earner should be the one to go to work and the one with equal home skills should stay at home. Right? Well – not as far as Grandpa is concerned. Few baby boomers approve of their sons being Stay At Home Dads and some make their views uncomfortably public.

Their worries are well founded in some respects. They ask: what happens when the kids are grown? What happens to our son’s career? Indeed, what does happen? It is put ‘on hold’, just as a mother’s career would be, should she be the one to stay at home and look after the children while the husband went to work. This point fails to impress baby boomers, however, whose son is trashing his career to change diapers and buy baby food.

byb-Jan-MansWorld-480x320

Drop into this situation the element of step children: the son who has re-married a woman whose children are still young might still be a candidate for role reversal and opt to take care of her children as well as his own. Baby boomers find this family structure outrageous and require the arrangement to enjoy a period of considerable success for their views to be turned around, if ever. Their main concern is that there son is being ‘used’ and often their opinions are aired within the family to the extent that long term resentment is caused between the grandparents, the working mother and the children concerned.

Psychological articles tell us that the modern take on stay-at-home fathers and working mothers is that ‘if it works, that is all that matters’, however, there are some practicalities to think about before such a step is seriously considered, not the least of which is how future prospective employers might receive the CV of a man who has spent ten years of stay at home childrearing. Unfairly, there is a growing consensus from psychological articles that inform us that they will consider employing a woman who has taken a break to raise her children but view a man’s decision to become a Stay At Home Dad irresponsible and an excuse to loaf around watching daytime TV. In this respect, perhaps Grandpa is right to be concerned…Yikes! What’s the Modern Man to do?

The Psychological Article on Role Reversal: Modern Stay at Home Man: Answering to Grandpa is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Making Changes: Modern Man Changing Diapers by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-Jan-MansWorld-480x320

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
by Boomeryearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

Baby boomers were on the borders of being ‘hands-on’ dads. Their own fathers waited patiently in the waiting rooms of hospitals, or discreetly in the downstairs parlor as their children were delivered and the suggestion that a man should actually be present at his wife’s bedside as she gave birth would fill him with horror and disgust. New Age man might actually help deliver his children, so close is his involvement with pregnancy and birth, cutting the cord himself and being the first to hold his newborn baby.

Men who take an active and involved role in the pregnancy and birth of their children are usually proactive in the care and supervision of their kids from the cradle onward. They feed; they change diapers; they walk the baby in a buggy or carry the child in a sling; they do all the things a mother might do apart from breast feed and many feed their babies expressed breast milk when mothers are busy working.

This lifestyle is totally alien to elderly baby boomers, who experienced a slight leaning toward being ‘hands on’ with their own sons but are probably over-awed by their grandsons’ equal role in the process of rearing their children. Modern man approaches the subject of fatherhood both seriously and enthusiastically. European men, especially Italians and Spanish, take an almost obsessive pride in their children, arguing with their wives over whose turn it might be to push the buggy and carrying baby’s pacifier around in their pockets proudly.

Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psycholgy note that baby boomers’ attitude to the way their grandchildren are raised is sometimes derisive and sometimes admiring. There is an element of regret in even the most chauvinistic of grandfathers that they missed that closer experience of their children so enjoyed by their grandsons.

Problems can arise in modern homes when New Age man and New Age woman disagree on the level of involvement men should have, not only with the raising of children but also with other household responsibilities. Traditionally, mothers taught little girls how to cook; make conventional staple foods such as dough; pastry; cake mix and basics such as casseroles; pasta dishes and desserts. Boys were left out of the equation, as a rule. When adults, those boys admired their wives’ efficiency in the kitchen but seldom sought to experiment themselves.

byb-changing diapers-man and woman-dreamstime_5543015[1]

All that has changed and the grandsons of the 21st Century happily wield a wooden spoon with enthusiasm and efficiency; some making better cooks than their partners. Elderly grandfathers look on this situation with interest and feel a combination of amusement, admiration and sympathy as they look back on their own experience with mothers who would shoo their husbands out of the kitchen, as if their presence might contaminate a food preparation area!

Psychological articles make some fascinating comparisons between modern men and their grandfathers, in an age where the social and cultural differences between the beginning of the century and the end seem vast and unbridgeable. Stay tuned to Boomer Yearbook for further updates.

The Psychological Article on Making Changes: Modern Man Changing Diapers is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Boomers Guide to Modern Man and his Obligations to be a ‘New Age’ Man by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-Jan-MansWorld-480x320

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems
by Boomeryearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

When baby boomers were kids, they respected their fathers as kings of the kingdom. As a rule, men went to work, earned a living and came home to find a hot meal waiting and the kids ‘scrubbed and tubbed’. As the boomer generation matured, the trend turned toward modern man taking on a role that consisted of more responsible home duties. It began with washing windows and relieving their wives of the more strenuous household chores. Now, modern man performs many of the home tasks that were previously the sole domain of the ‘little woman’.

Baby boomers who are the grandfathers of modern society tend to regard their sons’ ability to bath the kids, cook the meals and wash the dishes as a bit of a let down and some patriarchal figures go so far as accusing their sons of being ‘walked over’ by their wives and partners. Active disapproval and comment is rare but underlying indignation is common in the older generation, who see a man’s place in the home as ideally authoritative.

Understanding their father’s disapproval and wanting to please, some modern men ‘tone down’ their willingness to help around the house when Grandpa baby boomers are in the vicinity, projecting an illusion that his house is run on similar lines to his childhood home, where his mother made beds, took out the garbage, cooked and cleaned and performed all household tasks exclusively.

byb-ironing- man and wife-dreamstime_7991274[1]

In the background, psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Relational and Positive Psychology profile modern woman, who expects not only that her husband or partner be helpful and take an equal responsibility for keeping the home running efficiently, but that he is also seen to be doing so. Modern woman has no patience with male prejudices and more often than not will challenge a modern man’s desire to pander to the frozen ideas of the older generation.

The pressures on new age man to achieve in his career are no less than those tackled by his father and yet he has also to address his role at home on equal footing with his wife. Usually he is pleased to do so but is sometimes uncomfortable with his image and problems can arise when pressure from all directions threaten to overwhelm modern man.

Whereas at one time, a father’s only contact with his children was to pass them in the hallway and ask a few questions about their day, nowadays a man might drive his children to school; feed the baby during night; change diapers; cook supper and supervise after school activities because his wife is working longer hours than he is. Baby boomers whose personal experiences were so different find it hard to empathize with the modern lifestyle and sometimes feel their sons are ‘taken advantage of’ by their new age wives, despite the wives’ own heavy workload.

Psychological articles show us that modern man is often completely overcome and sometimes feels pulled in all directions by his multiple responsibilities to his career, his home life, his children and his parents…leading to resentment, role ambiguity, and stress.

The Psychological Article on Modern Man and his Obligations to be a ‘New Age’ Man is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Getting it Right: Achieving a Balance Through the Generations by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-sexy silhouttes- 4 girls-dreamstime_11279668[1]

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of second and third marriages; the dangers and coaching solutions concerned with ‘spoiled’ children and the hurdles that must be addressed for family newcomers: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

byb-mother attachment chart Jan


Psychological Articles and Coaching Tips for Baby Boomers to Avoid/ Alleviate Elderly Problems

by Boomeryearbook.com

Family structures are affected by the industrial and social developments of the age in which we live and work. The modern family structure has become fragmented and unorthodox as a result of multiple partners throughout a daughter’s life or a son’s propensity to separate from or divorce a series of women; welcoming and rejecting a collection of step daughters and step sons and leaving baby boomer grandparents reeling in the confusion of disjointed and broken family ties. In a World once represented by the ‘2 plus 2’ equation for families, ‘new builds’ can be hard to file away in the right boxes.

Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psychology that explore family structures and the cause and effect of multiple break ups observe that much of the conflict that exists within modern families is rooted with an inability to ‘let go’ of set ideas and concepts introduced generations ago. Once such notions are set apart as unrealistic and unworkable in our modern family society, a gateway emerges for new - albeit unorthodox – alliances, outside accepted conventions.

The pandemic discarding of respect for marriage in its traditional and original concept has produced multiple partnerships within the average family and turned out a generation of children who might be multi-racial, with dual connections to fathers, step-fathers, step-mothers, and half brothers and sisters. There is also an incidence of brothers and sisters who are of different generations; the older may be 35 while the younger could be as young as 2 or 3! The goal posts have moved for the baby boomer generation, forever this time, and we must therefore accept and learn to embrace new family structures.

The secret of contented family life in the modern age would seem to be acceptance in all its forms. Although the baby boomer fraternity is undeniably strong minded and more than capable of exerting influence on younger members of the family, trying to stop the invasion of multiple relationships within one’s family structure might be compared to shooting tapioca at an army…! A broader outlook is required, in fact vital, when dealing with the private relationships that exist between younger members within the family circle.

byb-grandparents-interracial, white son, black wife and child-dreamstime_1107995[1]

Psychological articles tell us that human nature is such that we run to smiles and run to escape from criticism, especially when the criticism originates with family members whom we love and wish to please. The reaction to a son or daughter bringing a new relationship to the family can either draw everyone close or push everyone apart: it seems a pity that acceptance, in a World where it is almost impossible to sustain marriage with a single partner, should be so elusive.

Baby boomer women are at the heart of family relationships and their daily efforts to create a peaceful and harmonious home environment encompass welcoming newcomers to the family of all ages, colors and cultures. The ability to do this seamlessly is the key to a happy and well balanced family life in the early 21st Century.

The Psychological Article on Getting it Right: Achieving a Balance Through the Generations is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup

Spoiled Teenage Granddaughters: The Dangers of Giving Too Much by BoomerYearbook.com

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

byb-sexy silhoutte-one girl-dreamstime_704394[1]

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of second and third marriages; the dangers and coaching solutions concerned with ‘spoiled’ children and the hurdles that must be addressed for family newcomers: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.


Psychological Articles and Coaching Tips for Baby Boomers to Avoid/ Alleviate Elderly Problems

by Boomeryearbook.com

Elderly baby boomer grandmothers spent their early youth in a disciplined environment, where a certain amount of responsibility and an exacting standard of behavior was expected by fathers and mothers brought up in the thirties, when the unenviable experience of the depression made an impact on their values and morals.

Now that it is Grandma’s turn to exert some influence on what happens within the family structure, she is determined to be generous and show her grandchildren, especially her granddaughters, that love can be expressed through giving as well as through discipline and a rigid social code.

byb-mother attachment chart Jan

While baby boomer grandmother was too busy contributing to the family finances to pay much attention to her daughter, resulting in a marked ‘coolness’ in their relationship, she is resolved to ‘make amends’ and show her granddaughter how much she loves her through a form of idolization.

Adoration has a lot to answer for when it comes to spoiled grandchildren, who as a result of over indulgence have no concept of ‘value’. Appreciation suffers cruelly when over indulgence takes over in the life of a child. By the time the child has reached teenage years, considerable damage might have occurred and be almost impossible to undo.

Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psychology observe that when children are given too much, the basic elements of appreciation are lost. For example, kids who are showered with gifts throughout the year will derive little pleasure from receiving gifts on special occasions such as birthdays and at Christmas time.

The pleasure of receiving a gift loses its magic if the experience happens too often. The worst specimens of ‘spoiling baby boomer Grandmas’ give their grandchildren expensive gifts of toys, clothes and entertainment treats such as restaurant meals, every day. Parents struggle hopelessly to save enough to buy their child a special gift on a special occasion, only to be ‘up-staged’ by Grandma’s Platinum Credit Card. Naughty ole’ Grandma is so obsessed with single-handedly ruining her grandchildren, she hardly notices her daughter’s increasing coolness as resentment begins to bubble dangerously…

Spoiled children grow into spoiled teenagers and this is when the real trouble begins. Our modern society offers every indulgent gadget – usually costly – to gratify every whim of a young adult who hasn’t the slightest inkling of the amount of work required to earn the price of a new mobile phone or a new car or tickets for next week’s rock concert.

Teenage granddaughters who have been subjected to ‘whims of worship’ applied by deluded grandmothers, enjoy owning a wardrobe so extensive they could not possibly wear each outfit even if they changed three times a day for months! Their jewelery is up to date; their sense of style is years ahead of their maturity and their allowances are – well – generous!

Psychological articles that make an interesting study of such behavioral patterns also observe that the teenage granddaughters in this equation also display a capacity for being materialistic and criticizing others who are unfortunate enough not to have a baby boomer cash machine affectionately known as ‘Grandma’.

It may be wise for Grandma to remember the song and familiar adage of the depression years:
“God Bless The Child Who Has Her Own”
For if not, Grandma may unwittingly be creating an “entitled” spoiled young woman.

The Psychological Article on Spoiled Teenage Granddaughters: The Dangers of Giving Too Much is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

signup