Archive for September, 2009

Boomers as helicopter parents and grand parents

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Helicopter parent questionnaire

Helicopter parent questionnaire

by Boomeryearbook.com

Many boomers are already parents and are bracing themselves for the challenges that come with being a grand parent. Many others are just beginning to come to terms with the immense challenges that come with living and parenting teenage children. But what really is the role and responsibility of being a parent or a grand parent? And how do you distinguish between fulfilling children’s needs and spoiling them? How do you protect your children (and grand children) without being over protective? How do you teach them right from wrong without imposing yourself self on them?

These are serious questions for today’s boomers and believe it or not, the answers to these questions lie in the ability for boomers to detach themselves from the roles of parents and grandparents. Problems arise only when these parenting roles become the sole source of identity for the baby boomer parents. In other words, the root of the problem is the baby boomer parents’ unwillingness to let go of the need to be needed by their children and grandchildren. Haven’t we seen countless 40 year olds being told by their mothers that they know what’s best for them. There is no authentic relationship because the parents seem to be drawing their sense of identity from being in control as the parental authority figure. When this controlling attitude is challenged by the adult (or even teenage) child, the parents tend to revert to playing the blame game.

On the periphery it looks as if these baby boomer parents are concerned about their children’s and grand children’s well being; but in reality it’s the parent’s ego that’s unable to let go of the controlling parental role. The ego is always in pursuit of fulfilling some overt or covert selfish motive, and this is typically the case in overly intrusive or “helicopter” parents. The antidote to these phenomena is self awareness – self awareness is that fresh ray of sunlight that has the power to banish all such ego-generated demons. If we had the luxury to listen in on a boomer parent’s covert inner dialogue, it would be as follows (such covert self-talk is so unconscious that even we ourselves aren’t aware of it):

 

“I want you to be what I couldn’t become”

“I will continue to love you if you do what I want”

“I sacrificed a lot for you; therefore you are not permitted to disappoint me”

“If you disobey me, I will make you feel utterly guilty until you give in to what I want from you”

etc..

 

Psychological articles inform us that the key is to bring such ulterior motives out of the dungeons of the subconscious mind by being highly aware and sincere with our selves. Once these thoughts and intentions surface, we are usually amazed at how much of a grip the ego has on us. The more “past” people share with each other, the more there is a need for heightened self awareness. The reason why people find it easier to be with friends as compared to family members is because there is a greater shared “past” with family. This was well summed up by Ram Dass when he said, “if you think you are so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents”.

Needless to say, there is a need for boomer parents and grand parents to learn to let go of parenting roles that are no longer required. When raising babies and younger children, parents need to be protector and caretaker, provider and role model. With adults, parents need to be a gentle, graceful and compassionate source of wisdom. Moving appropriately into and out of these roles is what parenting is all about.

The Psychological Article on Boomers as helicopter parents and grand parents is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Being a Referee: Arbitration in Family Disputes

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

 Family Generations Living Together

Family Generations Living Together

By Boomeryearbook.com

Whether you are a senior or a baby boomer in middle age with an elderly relative residing in your home, the problems of keeping everybody happy can be punctuated by disagreements and fallouts as a result of trying to accommodate different generations in the same house.

People of all ages value their independence and privacy. Sometimes, either through budget restrictions or the layout of the home, it is not possible to provide as much discretion as you would like to an elderly resident or even to a younger teenager or child. The generations have to learn to cohabit peacefully, therefore, sometimes emotional pressures get the better of everyone.

The best way forward in these situations is to know when to try to arbitrate. There is no point in making a heated interjection in the middle of a full scale battle over who uses the bathroom too often and for too long. The discussion needs to be deferred until all parties are calm and receptive and this could be a matter of minutes, hours or even days if your aging baby boomer relative is particularly stubborn! It is not important when the discussion takes place, as long as it eventually does.

It is also important to know whether to interfere in the relationship that exists between the generations in your home. There is a natural ‘pecking order’ in most families and disturbing this delicate framework can sometimes be disastrous. It is always more sensible not to interfere unless things are getting nasty. Allow family members to conduct their own disagreements up to a point; after all, nobody can live in complete harmony all of the time!

When talking to members of the family about a disagreement that has turned ugly, deliberately introduce references to the love that exists between the two parties and the respect that is necessary to nurture that love. The cause of the disagreement is rarely of significant importance; it is more likely to be the pressure of living together that has caused the problem rather than a single incident. Gloss over the cause and try to deal with what happens next rather than dwelling on where to lay the blame for the disagreement.

Taking sides is rarely productive when dealing with disputes between aging baby boomer members of the family and other people who are younger. The elderly person will resent you for showing such disrespect and the younger will take shameless advantage if you show a preference. If you support the elder’s point of view, you will alienate the younger person, so you really cannot win! Try to be general in your opinions and concentrate on emphasizing the need for everyone to make an effort rather than one in particular.

A good idea after such incidents is always to try to create some space between the two parties for a while, to allow warm tempers to cool and to enable a period of reflection – until the next time!

Being a Referee: Arbitration in Family Disputes
is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Family Emotions Under One Roof

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

Grandpa and grandaughter

Grandpa and grandaughter sharing a moment


By Boomeryearbook.com

Emotional outbursts occur in every family and not always at the most convenient time. When you have multiple generations living together, the atmosphere can be tense and difficult. Younger members of the family have their own pressures and worries that might take the form of school exams, coping with teenage hormones and the resulting embarrassments such as acne and social shyness. Baby boomer elders could be experiencing elderly problems. There is therefore a boiling pot of emotions to diffuse.

For youngsters, there is nearly always a thread of resentment that an elderly relative is living with the family. At the precise moment when young teenagers want the privacy of the sitting room or the TV room, baby boomer Grandpa shows up and switches channels to watch his baseball game! In tense family situations, small things suddenly become magnified out of proportion and poor Grandpa ends up being verbally abused!

Whenever the very young and the very old need to co-habit there is a clash of tastes and cultures. The older generation are understandably shocked at the kind of music listened to by younger members of the family and stunned by the volume it is played at to achieve a pleasurable listening experience! There is no common ground where such things are concerned and it is best for the generations to admit their differences and walk away. If your home is a cultural battleground, try advising all parties concerned to purchase a set of good quality earphones to live and let live!

The elderly have a different set of difficulties, not the least of which is the loss of independence that necessarily occurs when you move into someone else’s home. The transition from independent home owner to elderly guest can be fraught with emotion. Losing your independence is no fun and residing in a home that is full of the sounds of a boisterous family can be stressful.

For elderly people living with a younger generation, there are practical problems as well as emotional ones. Mobility is not always easy in older age and sometimes the stairs represent a challenge. For younger children, waiting at the top of the stairs for an elderly grandparent can seem like years. Impatience at these times can result in tragedy and it is important that younger people are informed clearly of how to behave with an aging baby boomer relative. Putting other people first can sometimes be novel for very young children but they can surprise you and respond better than older teenagers to baby boomer limitations.

For those who have a large home and the capability of separating the generations physically, life can be easier but for people who have to fit two or three generations into a small space, the difficulties of co-habitation might be a little more pressured. Whatever your situation, the harmony and affection that exists between elderly and younger members of the family are always improved by frequents rests and time spent apart – absence, in these cases, always makes the heart grow fonder!

Family Emotions Under One Roof is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Bang Bang Baby Boomer: Time for Leisurely Sex

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Bang Bang Baby Boomer

Bang Bang Baby Boomer



By Boomeryearbook.com

Sexual comedy can sometimes take the place of sexual satisfaction when normal people are caught up in the throes of raising a family. Families with two or more children have a pressured routine that involves children quarrelling over the play station; feeding times for babies; school runs and errands; after-school activities; packing lunches; the list is endless.

Somewhere in the havoc, parents try to make time for sexual activity in the five or ten minutes privacy they manage to achieve before their youngest appears at their bedside: “Can I sleep in your bed, Mom?”

As baby boomer parents finally achieve middle age, they breathe a sigh of relief as older kids begin to show signs of moving away to go to college and a number of other emotions take the place of being bombarded with teenage hormonal tantrums and being exhausted by family routines, while at the same time trying to answer the demands of a full time job.

Gradually, life begins to slow down dramatically as the house slowly empties of children. Men and women experience some emotional roller coasters at this stage in their lives, as children who dominated their existence for half of their lives suddenly disappear, leaving the nest empty and somewhat lonely.

The baby boomer solution to loneliness is always to seek solace in company but in fact the obvious and more satisfying solution is closer to home. This is a time when grown up kids have finally left home: before elderly problems set in, baby boomer parents can finally enjoy some quality sex in the privacy of their bedroom at any time of the day or night they choose.

Conversely, at the precise moment when multiple opportunities for uninhibited sex present themselves, the desire to perform is no longer that pressing! Baby boomer ladies with a busy family life often have an active social life. When the temptation to take on more projects crops up, as the prospect of the kids leaving home looms, women often fill their timetable without considering that their time could be better spent warming up the bed sheets.

After spending a hectic and probably over pressured fifteen years or so trying to keep track of four or five people’s social life and probably curtailing one or two sexual adventures of other members of the family, the prospect of being in the house for any reason, even sex, is sometimes just not palatable. There is no reason why frequent trips away should not be on the menu at this time of life, however, when a baby boomer might have more social freedom than at any other stage so far.

Now is the time for jumping in the car and taking off to the lake for a couple of days; having sex under the stars on the lawn; spending two hours in bed in the late afternoon instead of baking scones for the Women’s Institute; being content and enough to pursue sexual happiness while it is available. Don’t let it pass you by…!

The Psychological Article on Bang Bang Baby Boomer: Time for Leisurely Sex is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Sex with Younger People: Boomers Bridging the Gap

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Boomer Sex: Does Age Matter?

Boomer Sex: Does Age Matter?


By Boomeryearbook.com

As middle and older age creep up on us, the sexual habits that formed a good part of our early life suddenly present a problem, especially for people who have been bereaved and lost a partner who shared a sexual routine over many years. The sexual preferences that pleased a long term marriage partner might not necessarily satisfy a new sexual partner; they might even be distasteful.

The shock of discovering a younger partner without inhibitions, with a desire to be ravaged doggy style in the back yard dressed in fishnets, can be an education for a man now in the late stages of middle age, accustomed to sexual enjoyment with a wife now gone who habitually enjoyed the missionary position, with the lights strictly off and Mantovani gently serenading on the bedside locker.

Stepping through the time barrier can be scary for baby boomers. Being responsible for sexual liberation in the sixties does not necessarily mean all baby boomers are studs with a sexual repertoire to rival the Kama Sutra. Elderly bones and joints are sometimes a little less capable of dealing with sexual athletics and often gentle sex is preferred twice weekly rather than twice nightly.

Women who seek the company of younger men are often looking for a handsome escort, an active sexual partner and someone to dance with. Now and then women tire of being constantly in the company of men who are also baby boomers and want someone who is fit and strong enough to perform a little DIY around the house and some TLC in the bedroom.

Younger women who display a preference for older men might do so because older men popularly have more self control in bed than a younger partner. Young women who are particularly self motivated sexually will certainly appreciate an older man’s ability to wait for an orgasm until his partner has achieved satisfaction. Baby boomers were in fact more active sexually in their youth than any other generation and in the days before the HIV virus and AIDS awareness, multiple sexual partners were accepted as the norm.

Men who are baby boomers, now in middle age, might have more sexual experience to offer than a man now in his twenties could expect to gain over his lifetime. Some younger women find this sexual know-how intensely attractive.

The sexual habits of teenagers and people in their early twenties are now far more reserved than teenagers in the sixties; the risk of sexually transmitted diseases rules out the kind of experimental and unprotected sex enjoyed by many of the baby boomer generation. Perhaps this is the reason why so many younger women are happy with older men; the older man brings the slow hand of experience to the bedroom, while younger men are too excited to provide satisfaction to their partners and fare better with older women.

For people who are considering having a relationship with a younger partner but worry about the consequences, reservations are usually overcome by lust!

The Psychological Article on Sex With Younger People: Bridging the Gap is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Sex and the Single Baby Boomer

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Sex and the Single Boomer

Sex and the Single Boomer


Boomeryearbook.com

Baby boomers were the pioneers of sexual freedom in the sixties; the flag bearers of free love and peace and the promoters of sexual enjoyment for everyone. Sexual confidence in abundance was the order of the day back then and most baby boomers embraced their new sexual freedom with considerable enthusiasm.

Baby boomers are now entering middle age; some are already into their sixties and seventies and sexual emancipation is no longer something shocking but rather it is rightly accepted as normal behavior for most intelligent and socially enlightened members of the community.

Later life brings emotional turmoil as friends and lovers begin to develop a frailty that is not consistent with a rampant sex life. Some baby boomers continue to enjoy a healthy sexual and emotional relationship with their chosen partners but for singles it can be a little more complicated.

Single life in middle age is somewhat different to being single in your early twenties and thirties. For men and women with financial stability following a lifetime of hard work and saving for a pension and security, there is a real risk of being exploited financially by a younger sexual partner.

People with strong family commitments and an affectionate bond with children and grandchildren can run into difficulty when trying to conduct a healthy sex life alongside traditional family values. Grandad is not supposed to have sexual feelings and if he does he is expected to keep them securely under wraps and out of sight of the kids and neighbors! Otherwise he runs the risk of being ‘labelled’.

A single existence in later life prompts a barrage of invitations from well intentioned match makers to ‘fix’ a situation that might actually be perfectly acceptable. A man or woman who has enjoyed a lifetime relationship with a wife or husband now deceased might be quite content to enjoy a single life once the pain of grief has abated sufficiently to pursue some social interaction. A determined match maker can cause havoc in the life of a happy and well balanced single baby boomer.

The social opportunities for aging boomers and elderly single people are now so varied it is impossible not to find hobbies and entertainments if one is so inclined. The days when the elderly were expected to sit quietly in the rocking chair on the porch are long gone to be replaced by club outings, fine dining, day trips, sight seeing expeditions and dancing lessons. Everyone is paid attention to; nobody is sidelined in a social scene that caters for every interest and social events are even categorized in the local papers to exactly pinpoint race, religion, age group, dietary requirements, and sexual preferences.

There is absolutely no excuse for a lonely existence for single baby boomers in later life: the social choices are wide and varied enough to cover every taste and preference, from square dancing to golf. Finding a companion to share your interests might present something more of a challenge – almost as much of a challenge as fighting to stay single!

The Psychological Article on Sex and the Single Baby Boomer is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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The Psychological Article on Loss of Libido and How to Get it Back

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Loss of Libido and how to get it back

Loss of Libido and how to get it back

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Loss of libido can be distressing, especially in later life when there is some prospect of being able to have some leisure time to pursue a more active sex life. To find a solution to a lack of libido, it is vital to find the cause of losing it in the first place and this will either be psychological or physical. Elderly problems will sometimes account for a loss of libido as a person might be experiencing physical disabilities such as aching joints or arthritis.

A physical problem might sometimes be easier to solve than a psychological disorder. For women who are suffering from a lack of sexual interest there might be an emotional cause such as increased stress resulting from losing the family home and having to down-size, or alcohol abuse will sometimes affect the libido. Prescription drugs such as tranquilizers taken to combat other elderly problems might also have an adverse effect on the patient’s libido, to the extent that someone might stop taking their medicine in an attempt to cure their loss of sexual appetite.

For some, losing their libido presents no hardship and they are happy to cruise along without having sex and not particularly missing it. Women are more likely to accept a loss of libido than men and tend to find other interests to replace their sexual appetite. Men tend to seek a solution more often and are more likely to be candid about the elderly problems or cause of losing their libido in the first place. For men, the solution might require professional psychological therapy combined with a prescription for Viagra to help with physical inhibition.

Women with elderly problems who wish to recover their libido might try using a sex toy such as a vibrator or cream stimulant to produce tingling and moistness before attempting sex with their partner. Sometimes this works but if the problem is psychological, professional help is nearly always the only solution.

A woman’s aversion to sex might be an adverse reaction to their partner’s increased desires and the ‘turn off’ simply a subconscious effort to limit sexual activity. It might be a more serious psychological barrier caused by traumatic events such as bereavement or divorce or the loss of a lifelong friend. The causes of loss of libido are numbered and varied and it is imperative to pinpoint the problem before a successful solution might be sought.

Occasionally, a person will sail through life without a problem but suddenly experience a drop in libido and consistently experience difficulty thereafter. The reason could be psychosexual and be dealt with by consulting a professional counselor but some patients endure months or years of misery before getting help.

When seeking professional psychological help for dealing with a loss of libido, always check the professional credentials of your chosen analyst. People with sexual difficulties are often a target for untrained opportunists to exploit indiscriminately for personal gain: the therapy they provide is unproductive and could even cause psychological harm.

The Psychological Article on Loss of Libido and How to Get it Back is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Seeking Professional Sex – Pros and Cons

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

Pros and Cons of Boomers seeking Professional Sex

Pros and Cons of Boomers seeking Professional Sex

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

A youthful person can take an active sex life for granted. The kind of social life that is prevalent for twenties to thirties tends to provide a happy hunting ground for sexual partners.

For the same people in their fifties and sixties, however, emotional complications and lifestyle could interfere with their desire to find a sexual partner on ‘home ground’. Elderly problems can bring physical limitations to sexual performance and while an elderly man (or woman) might be willing to enjoy a certain sexual freedom with a stranger, the prospect of risking confidentiality with a partner on their doorstep is worrying and inhibiting.

The advantages of seeking professional sex are the probabilities of guaranteed physical satisfaction and the aspect of privacy; being able to separate a social life and enjoy the company of friends without the sexual complications that sometimes compromise a successful friendship with the opposite sex in later life as a result of elderly problems.

Men or women who have enjoyed long and happy partnerships and find they are unable to connect in the same way with a new sexual companion might seek professional sex as a way of dealing with sexual frustration yet still enjoying the company of a new friend socially. This arrangement can fall apart, however, as the relationship progresses and the other person begins to demand a deeper and more physical interaction.

A major drawback with a professional sexual partner is that all physical inhibitions are discouraged and although this can be a bonus of a conventional sexual relationship, transferring such sexual appetites to a new partner can be problematic; few people are able to perform to the standard of a sex professional.

Another problem is that seeking out professional sexual partners can be habit forming and sometimes result in a person wanting to have a more traditional sexual relationship with a new companion but being unable to break their habit of enjoying the anonymity of a detached physical performance.

Allowing a habit of professional sexual activity to develop can cause a number of difficulties and can have the opposite effect to the one originally intended, as a certain ‘isolation’ exists in people with elderly problems whose only sexual satisfaction comes from being in bed with a stranger.

A sexual relationship with someone who is close emotionally can be a comfort as elderly problems cause progressive disabilities. For those with a sex life conducted exclusively outside the home, sex becomes inconsistent with deep affection and therefore something sought only for physical satisfaction rather than emotional comfort.

The other practical downside of professional sex is of course the cost. The price of sexual favors is necessarily high if one is to have the security of knowing a sexual partner is free of disease and that the sexual service takes place in clean and safe surroundings. A common problem for the aging baby boomer or booming senior when seeking professional sex is the lack of freely available funds to finance it and also for people who are in a relationship, being able to spend the money without a partner knowing.

Pros and Cons of boomers seeking professional sex

Pros and Cons of boomers seeking professional sex

The Psychological Article on Seeking Professional Sex – Pros and Cons is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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A few thoughts for Boomers on dealing with death (and life)

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

 

byb-death-danger-dreamstime_85916651

Psychological Articles on Elderly Problems

by Boomeryearbook.com

A great mystic once said, “A man who is afraid of death will be afraid of life also, because life brings death. If you are afraid of the enemy and you close your door, the friend will also be prohibited.”

Baby boomers are plagued with a number of fears – fear of isolation, fear of not having enough money, fear of change, fear of old age and the fear of losing the lime light are just to name a few. But the root of all these fears is definitely the fear of death. All other fears seem to be just by-products of the fear of death.

The basic idea here is that even though we boomers intellectually know that we are going to die someday; very few of us truly believe it. The reason I say that is because, had we truly believed it; we would be living life very differently.

The bitter truth is that we live a sleepwalker’s existence by doing things automatically without thinking about whether it’s really essential or not – we do things and say things in certain ways just because its how we have always done it. Thinking about death breaks the shackles of this sleepwalker’s existence and forces us to think of the essentials.

The Buddhists recommend imagining a little bird on your shoulder that asks the question, “Is today the day? Am I ready and doing all that I need to do by being the person I ought to be today?” this little practice will not only eliminate the fear of death, but it will also eliminate the fear of life – somehow remembering death tends to cleanse our life by reminding us of what’s really important and freeing us from all that’s not important.

Understanding death is essential in understanding life. Embracing death equals embracing life. Leaning to die equals learning to live. This thought is summed up beautifully by the Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran,

“You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”

It is futile for boomers to try to trick themselves into believing that we are not going to grow old and die. Wanting to be young again simply means that one is not in awe of the wisdom that comes with being old. Instead of wanting to be young again, isn’t it a better idea to relish in the wisdom that comes with old age. After all growing old isn’t simply about white hair and wrinkly skin; it’s about a mental, emotional and spiritual transcendence of everything that’s not important – it’s about moving away from the fear of death to an understanding of life and death; and then to live a better life based on that understanding.

Positive Psychology Map

Positive Psychology Map

Remeber to practice Positive Psychology and ask yourself “Is today the day, little bird… is it today?”

The Psychological Article on A few thoughts for Boomers on dealing with death (and life) is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Glamourous Elderly Ladies and the Dying Art of ‘Chic’

Friday, September 25th, 2009

Audrey Hepburn: "Breakfast at Tiffany's"


by Boomeryearbook.com

Some elderly ladies, despite having elderly problems, are so beautifully groomed. Many of them, of course, learned their grooming routine in the forties and fifties when, rightly or wrongly, it was unacceptable for women to wear jeans or appear in public without a hat and a pair of gloves (winter or summer!) The idea of appearing with a hair out of place was simply ‘not done’. As time marched on, women changed their outlook and their take on appearances changed with it. The fashion trends that dictated formality in the early boomer years dropped away, but some habits die hard.

Busy mothers of today race through the house in the early morning, getting children off to school and gulping half a cup of cold coffee over a mouthful of burned toast as they stuff junior into a car seat, throw on a skirt and a sweatshirt and pile their entire lives into a seven-seater, en route to school, the mall and eventually the child minder, on their way to work. On a good day, they will have one eye on the mirror while pulling a comb through their hair in the car park, mobile held firmly to one ear.

Grandma, however, in spite of her elderly problems, spends more than an hour crimping her hair and painting her nails before selecting a matched set of accessories suitable for day wear at the social center, where she will while away a few hours before heading home for lunch. Somewhere, the standards set by Grandma became lost in the pressured, modern world of here-today-gone-tomorrow fashion and lifestyle.

One of the most endearing qualities of elderly chic is its ability to bridge time. Grandma looks as pretty today in her pink print dress and pearls and she did in 1958 and many ladies with elderly problems have conquered the ravages of time and kept their figures, enabling them to achieve an elegance that escapes many younger women.

In our modern and scheduled existence, a culture of scruffiness and ‘shabby chic’ has taken hold of young women and rendered them, to an extent, masculine in their appearance. Having messy hair and wearing grubby trainers has become, if not ideal – acceptable; especially for busy mothers. When did we let go of our standards? Was it the baby boomer years that ‘did away’ with glamour and made us ‘slobs in our time?’ It is almost too sad to consider that Grandma’s generation were the architects of the death of elegance.

The younger women in our world are, as yet, free of the elderly problems that trouble Grandma in her twilight years. However, in terms of fashion, grooming and appearance, we could all take a leaf out of her book and pay a little more attention to our hair, nails and the shine on our shoes before we set out each morning. Perhaps the white summer gloves and the straw hat are taking things a little far, though!

The Psychological Article on Glamorous Elderly Ladies and the Dying Art of Chic is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!